sometimes, collegites go too hard

so, this is becoming my chronicles of college space.

Last nite, we planned to go to a 'black' after-party. so, my housemate had some friends over. And they came drunk, but still in a good place. That afterparty was def gonna be popping. my housemate, Imma call her Shatta, and I had planned several things to go down at that party, moves, seduction, fooly et al. you get?

Then, we had to wait for two other friends. When they finally showed up, we were seven in number. We puffed and were about to hit the road. sweet, right?

Suddenly, one of the drunk girls started puking(vomiting) in the bathroom sink, then in the toilet bowl. shit! we were like does she wanna rest for like 10 mins but she was like she's fine, on y va. As we were about to leave again, she went back to puke. I was like wtf man! (in my mind). You will not believe that she went on puking for the next 3 hrs. She def had too much to drink, before coming over. That was how we missed the party and all other plans.

So, the night turned out far from expected. But damn, Shatta and I had some plansssss.

#onto.the.next.one

PS: spring break is in two wks time, and Yinkuslolo has nothing planned. but she def wants to hit the road. Cali on my mind. What y'all doing?

In case you were wondering, all these babes are Akata, well except me.

schiit! i love college

This is a response to Suru's most recent post.

This is what I did from friday evening thru Sat nite.

Went to a gospel concert for 4hrs, then to a party at 12am, got my drank and dunce on till 2:30am, then went sledding down three diff hills from 3am till 430am. Woke up at 2pm and procastinated til 5pm.

Started prepping for another night out at 9pm. went to a spokenword+dance show at 1030pm, then to a black party from 12am til 2am. You know what goes down at black parties.

schiit! i love college.

Happy belated Val's wkend y'all.

Quick request: I want to get bold Afrocentric earrings online but I can't find any e-store. Send me links to any that you know.

visit/follow my photo blog, yinkuslolo.tumblr.com

and I love this chic's music. good nigerian r & b stuff

where teh fudge is my fone?

so, my fone doubles as my alarm clock and my academic life DEPENDS on it. But I can't find it. I have to wake up for class in 4hrs (i.e. if my alarm rings some disturbing sense into my head). It's 4am now and if I dare sleep, I know I'll wake up at noon naturally. Hmmn, that wud be murder because I would have missed my first three different classes from 9-12.

Shit! I can't afford that because one of them is a compulsory review for an upcoming test.

I'm scared to sleep and too fatigued to continue studying. Oh no. where is my fone?!?!?! I dont even want my numbers, all I need is teh alarm.

I can't tell anyone to wake me up tomorrow, my housemates are snoring already. FML.

And yes, it's that serious.

P.S. Comments are disabled, effing rant.

update: I woke up at 1130am. missed the three classes and got an email about my missing fone at 1210pm. fml x2. but I'm glad I have my alarm clock back now.

Dating in College, potentially biased

College here, refers to a typical undergraduate higher-institution. In my case, I go to a college, one that is effectively diverse ethnically yet a white-dominated university. Lemme stop at that demographic yarning.

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you may want to dust your memory on the liberalism-supposedly present in my school.

On monday afternoon, I was sitting in a library and the wall on the main floor is made of see-through glass. I was looking through the glass, when I saw 3 males and female run through the campus naked, like effin' stark naked in broad day light. I know you are wondering who they were. Some white cross country runners, they usually run naked laps but I did not know that they ran naked even in broad daylight, in this cold. Funny part of the story is that the naked runners stumbled upon a prospective students' tour that was being given at the same time. ha! This is the second time that I'm seeing naked folks run through campus.

On Wednesday, I took the same spot in the glass-walled library and I saw two squirrels gettin' at it on the curb outside. It was a the doggy style, then I was like that spot in the library is not healthy for me esp. if I've got limited time to study.

Onto the topic of this post, Dating in college, I have some observations.

Before I came to college, I was accustomed to the baby steps approach to dating between 16 - 22 yr olds. This may be as a result of the fact that I grew up in Nigeria.

• Guy notices some babe
• Guy chases the babe and gets her phone number by hook, book or crook
• Keeps toasting her persistently and girl say no everytime
• Girl succumbs to a date after 1 - 3mth, depends on how much the babe is feeling the guy
• They get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff
• Girl and boy keep playing cat and mouse for 3 more mths, then they make it official
• Most times, the nookie is included after 6 mths, and their sexual compatibility is investigated/improved.

Now, in college, dating is done in reverse.

• Drunk boy and girl meet at a party, during the weekend
• They make out.
• They meet at parties on the following weekends and hook up.
• They keep doing the koko, not exclusively and find each other sexually-compatible
• Then, they get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff by going out on dates
• After 2 mths or so, they make it official

Now, I will not state my preference for the pattern that I like but the basis of my observation is that sexual compatibility seems to be the first criterion for dating anyone in my American college. On the other hand, sex is usually the last bus-stop on the to-do list in the typical Naija dating system.

One may criticise this college system of dating but I think that if sex is the pillar ( sometime, the purpose) of most relationships amongst 18 -22yr olds in college, then let the sexual compatibility be the initial criterion rather than beating around the bush.

You may beg to differ?

PS: miss natural, you wrote that I look familiar. from where? i may just know you. email me cos I can't comment on that post for some unknown reason.

DC chilling, Halloween and other stories (My first personal pics included)

Sup fellow Blogsvillites?

I see some new bloggers popping, some have migrated to Twitter to discuss Blogsville and other issues, some funny/controversial/*^%? ones are acquiring a fan base, some females are chopping the hair off (including moi), some are still posting up poems (i dont read most them tho), some are just there, some are tryna get the Blogsville critic/judge title and some have gone MIA. Y'all know where you belong? How y'all been tho?

Mehn, Ms. Dufa's blog's playlist has been on, on my lappie, for the last 3 hrs. I'm feeling most of those jamz mehn. Like, my iTunes is becoming 2000 and late. Homegirl is busy jare. I was on Ms. Dufa's blog, after a long while today. PS: If I don't comment on your blog, trust me, I am in touch thru my Google Reader. if you don't use that ish, get on it. Google reader has been saving milions of my seconds of opening individual blogs.

So, how was my DC trip?
Last wkend was my fall break and I went PG chillin'. Good stuff mehn. But my 45 mins flight from JFK was unfortunately eventful. Fashi that side sha. I went shopping, chilling, went to DC's Chinatown branched to Smithsonian and saw the monument, White House, Air and Space Musuem. Basically, orisirisi avenues of American History. It was coincidentally Howard's Homecoming and before you ask I wasn't at any of them events but I went to Howard on Monday. That's the first HBCU, that I went visiting and guess what? I had to dress up because they dress-up to school at Howard. Say wetin happen! some folks at my school even go to class in their PJs mehn. Dressing is mainly for night time. But I wore my koi-koi oh cos I baffed up and my legs pain me tire that day. Howard has some strong hilly parts mehn. I met some folks there, cool Naija people feeling fresh, as expected. Some Howard infrastructures need to be renovated tho but I like the school. Even though, it's like the opposite of mine.

And then! I lost my Halloween virginity on Friday. Shit mehn. Kanye West was kicking it. For those that are not current, I was Kanye West (with boobs) and two of my friends were Taylor Swift and Beyonce. It was a long night jo. I'm not gonna dish out the long story but I recovered with 12 hrs of sleep.

And guess whataaaa! I'm posting pics. I have not posted pics of myself not because I don't want to identifed but I did not want to have a face to my blog-story. Anyway, due to popular demand, here are my Kanye pics. I didn't get the shutter glasses but I found that top in DC. I will like to warn you that on a regular day, I will not look like this. Well, I present to you Yinkuslolo, in her naked Kanye-ego. Dayum! I can't believe I'm not having some hawt [read: sexy] pic of my regular self up, as my first personal photo. whatevs mehn!

She's wearing a wig cos she's actually a brunette and I'm holding my shoe polish.
"Yo Taylor! I'm real happy for you and Imma let you finish

but Beyonce got the best video of all time!"

UPDATE: Pics have been removed.

PS: I usually have Orin by Adol on replay. I think the song is not popular and it's not really my in preffered genre but I have been feeling it for the last 6 wks. who else has?

So, I gave the 'talk'

It was basically about my transition to America(college really), as an African student. I didn't do the Nigerian culture ish and decided to present this sort of talk at the last min, actually 4 hrs before. Believe me, there was more to say.
This is not the exact version cos I added and omitted some stuff, while I talked. I wish I did better tho.

read the sketch below------------------------

**Speak some Yoruba…**

I just spoke an adage meaning (**insert here**) in a language that is not called Nigerian. And definitely not called African. It’s Yoruba.

I remember my 'Coming to America' like the last meal that I just ate. Every time I felt the plane descending, I thought the pilot was about to announce landing. I was anxious to step on the land that supposedly flows with milk, Mariah Careys, skyscrapers and honey. I was eager to touch the American soil. Yet, I arrived at the smaller-than-expected airport and came straight to the **insert school name here** bubble in a town in the middle of nowhere....otherwise known as amazing ***insert town here***

As a freshman, who had only seen the campus online, the college's beautiful, yet confusing, layout impressed me. I don’t have to emphasize how excited I was about the dryers until they shrunk my clothes or the way the butt-wetting automatic flush toilets in **campus center*** welcomed me. But the number of ‘how are u doing?s’, that I got per day was uncountable.

My presence in gatherings did not arouse any peculiar interest, besides my name badge with an 11-letter word, **guess unusual Yoruba name**. I had to explain the meaning and origin of my name, which actually means a full sentence, God surrounds me. Then, teach folks how to pronounce my name with the right intonation, until I gave up and accepted the anglo-phonetized version. In the process, I get the ‘You have an accent’, I tell folks that my accent is Nigerian. Then, the ‘Oh! You are African, what’s is that fluffy snack eaten in Angola?’ or ‘You speak English so well’ pops up.

Initially, I explained that because I am Nigerian, I am not meant to know stuff about other African countries like what people eat in Somali or smoke in Burkina Faso because Africa is some huge continent, bigger than Europe. I'm Nigerian, and I only speak one out of the 250 + languages we speak in Nigeria and English, which is my primary language. I have told people times without number that even though, I am considered an alien, visa-wise in the US, I have been speaking English all my life.

Overtime, I eventually ran out of patience for having to give what seemed like endless explanations. I became nettled and wondered why some people had a single story about Africa. The type of Africa depicted on TV, the primary source of global information. The Africa that has nothing worth publicizing other than starving children, endless wars, roaming lions and funny-sounding languages. But after spending sometime, I realized it is the single story, according to Chimamanda Adichie, that most of us have in mind that gives us a picture of a group of people. Unfortunately, this is true for africa. for me, it is not merely a single...." it is not merely a single story for a group of people from a country but a continent. It is not my fault that I initially thought going to New York guaranteed my seeing a celebrity. It is not my fault that I didn’t know the lower economic class also existed in America.

Whose fault is it? The informant, who omitted some information and repeated the preferred information that gives a false image. Or the informed, who fails to inquire?

Nonetheless, It's been a year and I'm still going strong. The American experience has been thoroughly entertaining. The cold during the winter is definitely incredible; I still look forward to shoving through the snow, touching it and checking the weather every 12 hrs. I still try to be politically correct, by **school's** standards, when I communicate with people. Don't forget that my mind is colonized by the British? Yet, I dwell in the African realm. I look forward to where my name is pronounced with the right intonation, when I can wear my regular trousers and take a siesta on the verandah in December.

I have left my beloved Nigeria for 18 months now. Yet, I think of ***school's name**, as aggressive, eclectic, motivating but I am amazed at how she wraps you in her energy, sexiness, openness and fun spitting expletives at all irrespective of color, gender and musical preference, a feature, sadly missing in many other places that I've been. ***words of F-Iyanda***

I’m glad that I came.

--------

Je t'embarrase

Help!

Recently, I have been askin different questions. Blogsville residents are the best. I'm not done yet people. biko nu, help a sister out.

This friday, the [somewhat-inactive] African Stud. Assoc. in my school want to have a mini-show. So, Yinkuslolo has to do something. I will talk about the African student transition to an American university and talk about the Nigerian(read:African) experience.

Why? because I am funny, even unintentionally. I don't know the humor these folks see in me but imma do something anyway.

If you have anything to share, pls, leave a comment about it.

Anything like,

Myths about Nigerians?

You know you're African[/Nigerian], when you _____?

If you study in the US[or anywhere abroad], what are your [funny] transition memories/encounters.

Even a link to some online information will be appreciated.

This week is crajjeeee mehn, my Beast mode is in full swing definitely.

Help me with suggestions abeg! Thanx in adv.

Beast mode!

So! This wkend was sorta ideal to me.

Friday night, I chilled with my friends at a graduate student's house for 6.5 hrs. From making dinner, to baking the dessert, to playing cardgames, Kems( just like Naija's jackpot) and spoons (just like Naija's donkeyride). Funniest thing was that I chilled with my Calculus Instructor from last semester. This guy tried to give me tough time last semester. Not tryna make mouth or anything, but he made me pay extra attn to Maths for the first time in my life. Lmao! I used to think that Maths na beans. I still do, really. At the end of the day, he blamed it on my participation, when I thought I was a noise-maker in Maths class lol. I was still angry with him until I saw on Friday night and we became cool after hanging out for 6 hrs +. He is mad cool tho. Also, I learnt a card trick from a Maths PHD student. Rough cuteness oozing! (If you want more info on that description, holla!)

Saturday night, the party my student group planned sucked. =/ Up to the extent that I had to leave to go chill at another joint. Let's just say the other party I went to was on a mad roll. Gbedu express! 5 mins after I got there, Psafe came and there was a rumor that all under-21s should use the back door to escape. See folks rushing out like sardines. Trust college students, the party resumed after the drama.

This week, I have 3 major tests, 2 labs reports and other random assignments due. Ok!

This is why I annoyingly love college. So much work to do, I am not complaining again. I'll just do everything bumper-to-bumper and look forward to the weekend.

Oh yes! Yinkuslolo may be in New York, this coming wkend, for the famous Naija Independence Parade and orisirisi celebration. I have never attended. Who has? What happens? Who is going?

Ok, I never write about my wkends on here.

Good night y'all, I have 5 classes on Monday. Beast-mode, please!

Je t'embrasse

Temptation 104.....Liberalism supposedly

I go to one of those extremely liberal American colleges. Views from the right are just as welcome, all for the sake of the proclaimed eclecticism.

• Sex party

Think about that literally. That's the name of an annual party in my school. This year's sex party is tomorrow. It is attended in ready-to-get-kpanshed apparel. No kidding, babes go to V.Secrets to get all the lingerie and the guys, fo sho, go in hot bum shorts. If you still do not get, there is live-sex going on by attendees in the party. Sex! That's the theme, proclaiming the human sexuality. I dint go last year. This year, Yinkuslolo and a friend wanted to go see that the ish happens for real cos I know after college, where else will I get to see such party? but guess what? tickets are already sold out. Even the fake ones are elusive. Some students are bidding the hoarded tickets

Update: I got fake tickets. U get? Some students made fake tickets for the sex party. So, I gathered my babes, with the fake tickets of cos. Unfortunately, the frat, where the sex party was at, was already filled to capacity. Hahaha, those with even real tickets were still outside cos some fake ticket holders got inside already and took up room space. mehn! it was mad cold and most babes were just with bra and shorts, while some guys were with shorts, ties and maybe, handcuffs. orisirisi gears for sexing. Oh college!

Talking about parties, I have to plan a Uniform party for next weekend on behalf of my student group. A uniform party is simply a costume party, dressing up as whatever you desire, naughty maid, sexy nurse, hot CEO or Lady Gaga.

• Gender-neutral bathrooms

Well, if you don't get, it means both sexes share the same bathroom space. There is no restroom specific to the Gents or Ladies.

A couple of minutes ago, I was trying to do number 2, to no avail. When I came out of the toilet stall, my homie, was shaving his goat-like strands and admiring his stubble. This guy lives next to me, actually we purposely live next together cos we're cool with each other like that asper friends. Now, we see each other in the bathroom, [read: in towels] all for the sake of the gender-neutral bathroom. Don't get me wrong. It's either you're excited that you will be seeing the opposite sex in your bathroom or you get offended. I'm cool with the ish yo! One of my homegirls is roommates[read: shares the room] with a guy. I don't know how they do it. Note: They are not going out. The roommate has a gf sef.

The other day, I was rushing into a toilet stall and bumped into a guy, The guy was pants down doing numero dos, I guess. I just quickly exchanged "sorry" apology with the guy "It is ok" reply and ran into the next empty stall. Still in shock, not like I saw anything, I uttered "God" and I'm sure the boy heard from his stall. He may pass me for some freak, not knowing that I say "God in place of "oh shit". Oops! Thou shall not say the name of the Lord in vain.

• Sex magazine

There is an annual sex magazine in my school. I was going thru the past editions and saw some students pose nude[read: stark naked] for the magazine. The magazine also contains sexuality articles.

In the fall, the cross-country males' team run thru the freshman dorms naked.

Ok, these points are not the main reasons, why I think my school's liberalism is questionable. Part two post is on the way.

PS:

Some ish going on.

Last Saturday, Yinkuslolo tried a cigarette. She dint even choke. Someone implied that she smokes like an advanced beginner. She doesn't like the feeling in the cavities. So, it's not on the prospective habits' list. She even took a pic with the whiff/poke going off. [read: I was trying to do some Ambersome shot, like the one on the side tab of my blog] Pardon me! I think smoking socially [esp with a cigar] is classy. More explanation on smoking socially, if needed.

Hey! It's Friday night.

Looks like imma just chill with my French Sauvignon [weekend wine of choice] or jet out with the homie.

Y'all be thinking along the lines of good girl going bad. No worries pple, I do just wine and no wine-buddy in sight yet!

Case in Point....Friends

Law 36: Disdain Things you cannot have.....

Back in Naija, I had many friends. I went to a boarding school, and I was like one of the 'majority'. I am tempted to compare getting friends then with shopping for clothes in Teju-Osho market. Some friends are on sale, some are in bend-down select, some are meant for you cos they fit you perfectly and some are difficult to get cos you have to bargain for you to come to terms. I was the girl that had many friends but no girlfriend wanted to become committed simply because I could go out of the gf r/ship and get new buddies asap even though I am not a huge socialite. Although, I never had such intentions. At the same time, I am not into the BFF thing like marrying a fellow girlfriend on facebook. If you're my friend, you will know. I can discuss the cute guy's torso with you but I may not kiss you in photos, when we go out and have a good time. I don't know if this ironic, but most convos with my close buddies start with insults.

For example,

Friend: Idiot!

Yinkuslolo: Cow! what have you been milking?

It's all love. Sadly, most of these close friends are in Nigeria.Sometimes, I feel like importing my friends from Nigeria. We don't really do the "I miss you" thing cos we are cocky like that.

Expectedly, when I came to Yankee, I had to start making friends from scratch. I kinda liked the process initially but I think I lost, even though I had so many acquaintances. Surprisingly, It came to a point, when I had to look for buddies for a Friday night. Clearer picture: There are only two Nigerians per se in my school. The kind of friends, I like, were lacking in my school. Maybe, I have not just found them. Maybe Yinkuslolo has a problem but it is definitely not social ineptitude. I have friends, who call me to come have a good time. But it is that 'good time' that I am not chill with.

• I kind of have standards for a friend, if I am to decide. My kind of friends should simply be out-going, know what to say about the 'boys' and share a mutual sense of humor. Most importantly, you have to be of intellectual benefit. I don't really care about your being uber-smart or "Chanel Iman"-beautiful. Most times, other virtues matter the most.
• Yinkuslolo likes to go out sober and not-high. Better still, I am too concerned about the unconsciousness of my actions, if I get drunk. Some of my college friends like to get high or wasted before going out. Neither do I have the patience to wait nor appreciate the somewhat-awkward moment as I watched them smoke a joint last Friday. Now I ask myself, should we really be friends? What positivity has the friendship brought about?
• With regards to the above, I don't like pre-gaming with beer. But you can tease me with red wine and I am good to roll. Unfortunately, college kids do six-packs and I don't wanna feel too cool by bringing my own wine errytime, So, I just chill with the cranberry juice mixer.
• I will not deceive myself. I prefer black friends. We just have more things to talk about. Whether it be the preferred party style or taste in guys. Most of my friends are black anyway though I have friends of random ethnicities. Jokes: A buddy told me that I now think like blonds cos I have too many non-black friends, according to my tagged facebook pictures.

One of my close friends last year, left the school and the friendship gradually ran its course before that. I realised that I really value friendships but not everyone gets my way of showing it. After that, I became friends with the 'cool' kids, who wanted to be friends with me.

This sophomore year, I have decided to be myself, to be comfortable in my social skin. Make new friends. Keep the old ones I like. Disdain the ones that prove too tough to keep.

Sometimes, you want some people to be your friends but they already have theirs. You don't need to compete with the other group of friends. Because your true friends will find you.

PS: Everybody is dropping bombs now oh.

1. Naeto-C has dropped the Ako mi ti Poju video. First thing that struck was the white chick. I don't have the energy to care.
2. Banky W also dropped the Strong Ting video. Twas a bomber. First thing that struck was the fact that the vid was shot in SA. Could it not have been shot in Naija? You may be thinking, 'the end justifies the means', I do too
3. And guess what? Lady effing Gaga dropped the Paparazzi video. Damn, my lovable bitch brought it on as expected. Mind you. That's some X-rates video.

PPS: Today was the first day of classes, and you already know who dozed off during the latter half of her first class this semester. That's like shet effing mehn! I am so embarrassed about my unexpected lackadaisical attitude. I rarely doze off in class and I never miss class except there is some serious kini. I had better get it together this semester.