Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Cannot wear my glasses anymore, without thinking of pee.

Monday morning 23/04/11

A call interrupted my slumber at 10:30am. I was pissed but grateful when I saw the time on my phone because I had to leave my room at 11:30am.

I hurried through the unnecessary phone conversation and propped against the wall beside my twin-sized bed. I could still lick the aftertaste of the Ping Pong dim sum all-you-can-eat dinner from the previous night. Boy! The dinner was so bomb and it was free. I'm sure I ate more than 30 pounds worth of food. Thanks to their lazy sumday promotion, where you wear your PJs to Pingpon on sunday and eat for free. Londoners, check it out next sunday. The ridiculous things that I do in London because I know nobody here.

Back to my original story - licking some imaginary dim sum off my lips and mentally planning my day's itinerary of errands; I was already occupied with thoughts. I pulled my comforter away from my body and exposed my knickers for that rush of the morning fresh air. I wear only knickers to bed when I have no company. I love that feeling of my skin against the sheets. Bliss.

I strode to my bathroom and checked out my morning look in the vanity mirror. I looked like a normal person, besides the tear mark by my left eye. I yanked my hair wrap away and suddenly felt like I had to pee. I don't know why the view of my toilet seat induces such urge.

I sat on the toilet bowl and continued planning my itinerary: computer repair centre for my Mac's hardware, hair store to make my hair installation appointment, Westfield's TM Lewin store to pick up my online order, Harvey Nichols in KnightsBridge to pick up my Brazilian hair extensions *cough* and other randoms. It's quite amazing that my best flash ideas light up when I'm doing my thing on the toilet seat.

The last trickle of my liquid waste dropped into the bowl and I stood up to look at my pee, before flushing it down. I always observe my body waste before disposal. The pee seemed unusually very yellow, almost lemon green. I don't know how this happened but the cosmetic kit seemed unsteady on the shelf above my toilet seat. I tried to re-position it correctly but my eye glasses on the kit's lid fell INTO THE TOILET BOWL with my pee unflushed.

It took less than a second for my only pair of eye glasses to sink to the bottom of my pee-logged toilet bowl. Yuck! For a second, I was too disgusted to pull it out. Then, I remembered my unfortunate uber-myopic sight and the fact that that was my only pair. The earliest that I would have a replacement will be a month from now. I can't be blind for that long, when I take my contacts off at night.

So, I closed my eyes, pulled the glasses out of the toilet bowl, flushed my pee down to avoid another accident, rinsed my glasses under a running tap and wondered why my day had to begin this way.

Le sigh,
I'm on train to Oxford, one of my attempts to leave the London bubble and appreciate other parts of this British awesomeness.

Update: Oxford was beautiful. It looked like Windsor to me with the Harry Potter feel. 


doll said...

Ew....dirty girl

LadyNgo said...

and thats why i am against having shelving above the toilet. if anything falls in, its just gonna have to stay in there unless and until someone else decides to stick their hand in there.

Myne Whitman said...

At least it was just pee, lol. Like Ngo too, no shelving over the toilet, and even worse, no rolls on the tank, ever!

Enjoy Oxford.

Clara O said...

hahaha! that is all :)

Sisi Yemmie ™ said...

i dipped my hand into my pee in seconds when my phone fell i didnt even think about how disgusting pee oh noooo

figo said...

you are soo funny. you got to do what you got to do!
and i like the photos in the other posts!

i just came across your blog and i think its great. i hope you will come visit my blog and maybe we can follow each other.

okonyahouseboy said...

As I was reading I kept on saying noooo softly....then it became NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO you didnt! lol

kuesooM said...

Girl, I've had perfume bottles and other crap fall in, u've got to do what u've got to do, and heck there is disinfectant right..... :-)

Ginger said...

Abeg KuesooM is so right. you gotta do what you gotta do. Its just pee. and your own pee for that matter!! pele shaa

Eddy Itiat said...

i couldn't help but laugh because i know the feeling!! girl i love your story and i am definitely following you. i would love you to read my blog too. have fun dear. see u on the other side (by other side i mean my blog)

Utah graphic design said...

If it is just a pee then i will immediately grab my eye glasses. Just wash the glass and wipe it with alcohol then viola you can have your sight back at once.