Friday, October 30, 2009

Joke of the day.

Catholics Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'...."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist, and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God..."

I smiled but didn't laff. Semi-gist abt my DC trip, coming soon.
How y'all been doing?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Random Quickie

My fall break starts on Friday and I'm going to DC, for my first time. What's popping there? I guess I'll find out.

My friend and I were discussing Halloween costumes. She said she wants to be a bee. Then, I mistakenly heard Taylor Swift and she was like, 'Yeah, I can be taylor Swift'. From nowhere, I said, ' and I can be Kanye West.' That's going to be ridic. She's a brunnette but she's gonna buy a blonde wig, while I get some kicks and rock my big chop.

Oh yeah, I made a public debut of my short hair last Sat. Erryone was like, 'Rock it!' but I look so different. I also leveled the cut and it's almost molo. Honestly, I don't give a hoot about my looks these days. Popping lip rubs and lined-eyes help though.

The shape of my head cracks me up. Imagine, those wicked girls, back in high school, that used to call me big-head. Haha, big head ko, big head ni. I have just been adoring my sexy medulla.

New England suddenly fast forwarded to winter over the weekend. Where the eff did fall go to? Though, today was warm.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

So, I gave the 'talk'

It was basically about my transition to America(college really), as an African student. I didn't do the Nigerian culture ish and decided to present this sort of talk at the last min, actually 4 hrs before. Believe me, there was more to say.
This is not the exact version cos I added and omitted some stuff, while I talked. I wish I did better tho.

read the sketch below------------------------
**Speak some Yoruba…**
I just spoke an adage meaning (**insert here**) in a language that is not called Nigerian. And definitely not called African. It’s Yoruba.

I remember my 'Coming to America' like the last meal that I just ate. Every time I felt the plane descending, I thought the pilot was about to announce landing. I was anxious to step on the land that supposedly flows with milk, Mariah Careys, skyscrapers and honey. I was eager to touch the American soil. Yet, I arrived at the smaller-than-expected airport and came straight to the **insert school name here** bubble in a town in the middle of nowhere....otherwise known as amazing ***insert town here***

As a freshman, who had only seen the campus online, the college's beautiful, yet confusing, layout impressed me. I don’t have to emphasize how excited I was about the dryers until they shrunk my clothes or the way the butt-wetting automatic flush toilets in **campus center*** welcomed me. But the number of ‘how are u doing?s’, that I got per day was uncountable.

My presence in gatherings did not arouse any peculiar interest, besides my name badge with an 11-letter word, **guess unusual Yoruba name**. I had to explain the meaning and origin of my name, which actually means a full sentence, God surrounds me. Then, teach folks how to pronounce my name with the right intonation, until I gave up and accepted the anglo-phonetized version. In the process, I get the ‘You have an accent’, I tell folks that my accent is Nigerian. Then, the ‘Oh! You are African, what’s is that fluffy snack eaten in Angola?’ or ‘You speak English so well’ pops up.

Initially, I explained that because I am Nigerian, I am not meant to know stuff about other African countries like what people eat in Somali or smoke in Burkina Faso because Africa is some huge continent, bigger than Europe. I'm Nigerian, and I only speak one out of the 250 + languages we speak in Nigeria and English, which is my primary language. I have told people times without number that even though, I am considered an alien, visa-wise in the US, I have been speaking English all my life.

Overtime, I eventually ran out of patience for having to give what seemed like endless explanations. I became nettled and wondered why some people had a single story about Africa. The type of Africa depicted on TV, the primary source of global information. The Africa that has nothing worth publicizing other than starving children, endless wars, roaming lions and funny-sounding languages. But after spending sometime, I realized it is the single story, according to Chimamanda Adichie, that most of us have in mind that gives us a picture of a group of people. Unfortunately, this is true for africa. for me, it is not merely a single...." it is not merely a single story for a group of people from a country but a continent. It is not my fault that I initially thought going to New York guaranteed my seeing a celebrity. It is not my fault that I didn’t know the lower economic class also existed in America.

Whose fault is it? The informant, who omitted some information and repeated the preferred information that gives a false image. Or the informed, who fails to inquire?

Nonetheless, It's been a year and I'm still going strong. The American experience has been thoroughly entertaining. The cold during the winter is definitely incredible; I still look forward to shoving through the snow, touching it and checking the weather every 12 hrs. I still try to be politically correct, by **school's** standards, when I communicate with people. Don't forget that my mind is colonized by the British? Yet, I dwell in the African realm. I look forward to where my name is pronounced with the right intonation, when I can wear my regular trousers and take a siesta on the verandah in December.

I have left my beloved Nigeria for 18 months now. Yet, I think of ***school's name**, as aggressive, eclectic, motivating but I am amazed at how she wraps you in her energy, sexiness, openness and fun spitting expletives at all irrespective of color, gender and musical preference, a feature, sadly missing in many other places that I've been. ***words of F-Iyanda***

I’m glad that I came.
Je t'embarrase

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Recently, I have been askin different questions. Blogsville residents are the best. I'm not done yet people. biko nu, help a sister out.

This friday, the [somewhat-inactive] African Stud. Assoc. in my school want to have a mini-show. So, Yinkuslolo has to do something. I will talk about the African student transition to an American university and talk about the Nigerian(read:African) experience.

Why? because I am funny, even unintentionally. I don't know the humor these folks see in me but imma do something anyway.

If you have anything to share, pls, leave a comment about it.

Anything like,
Myths about Nigerians?
You know you're African[/Nigerian], when you _____?
If you study in the US[or anywhere abroad], what are your [funny] transition memories/encounters.

Even a link to some online information will be appreciated.
This week is crajjeeee mehn, my Beast mode is in full swing definitely.

Help me with suggestions abeg! Thanx in adv.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Dilemma 2 (Hair) update - Imma let you finish

But Yinkuslolo's chop is the best of '09 (did I hear Solange's?)!
I went for the big chop 3 hours ago.

Before, I had two hair textures. The last time that I got a perm was in March.

After the chop. I bet you're wondering what that eeny teeny beety is doing in front. If I decide to rock my cut, I want to have bangs in front. So, I can just straighten it, whenever I am ready to bare it open.

All those yeye chemicals in relaxers have given my treated hair a tint of purple/brown/whatever colour. I am not even sure, I may cut that front part off totally but I want the bangs tho. We'll see.
PS: Obviously, or if not, my friend used a pair of scissors for my cutting. Click on picture, for a better view.
Now, I have to just weave that front portion, don my hair piece and one of my problems is already solved.
je t'embarasse

Friday, October 9, 2009

Two huge Dilemmas

I plan my breaks, as far as three months ahead. Honestly, it's just because of flight costs.

But I have been debating where to spend my spring break. Seriously, I'm confused.
I already planned to go to Naija this December, cos Mumcee will be there too. Also, I get to see my friends and folks, I have missed them. I get to retain my sanity. Naija is really home to me.

But my mum can't make it again, she is staying home in Budapest. I really want to see her. Else, this long-distance mother-daughter relationship will loose its elasticity. I have only been home for 3 weeks, this year.

I can't go to both places. So I have to decide.

Pros of going to Naija:
  • I get to see friends and folks.
  • I will enjoy the tropical weather and dodge this punishment, called winter.
  • I will possibly go on a mini West-African tour.
  • I will lose $2000+ of my money to the cheapest air service that I can find to spend just 3 weeks.
  • I will not see the most important, yet some-what absent, person in my life.
Pros of going home, Budapest:
  • I'll see the infamous MumCee
  • I will def go on a mini-European tour, if I can stay warm. I had better be warm ni.
  • By hook, crook, or book, I will book a cheap flight. Even if I have to stop over in the north pole.
  • I will not see my friends, almost 2yrs now. I feel different from them.
  • I will die of cold. No kidding, Yankee is cold, but Hungary is freezing yo. Clear slippery ice is not the best thing to be walked upon

To be honest, runsing three continents is no joke, not even funny. Don't do it, the fun ends after the first round-about trip.
Where should I go?

My hair!!!

I can't maintain my real hair. It's treated but due for relaxing. I see no point in paying someone $60 to do my hair, when I will still get a weave. Ajebo girls in my school know nada about making one's hair. Now, my hair is short, breaking, somewhat-unkempt and covered with my lace-front wig. When the winter comes, it will just break off totally.

Thus, I want to take the big chop this weekend and go natural. I may not even grow it out, just keep it low. The low-cut hair-do is low maintenance but I prefer the long hair length. I will still be wearing my orisirisi hair extensions/wigs/weaves.

I am not yet into the empowerment thing, when you take the big chop and go natural or otherwise.
I want to do it for the financial benefit and time-saving advantage.
The hair is not even growing so I will let it go.

So, what am I still waiting for? Damn, I don't wanna remember what I looked like when I was on low-cut, back in high school. not the best of my looks. What if I have to bare my real hair and not like my cut. Well, I am too occupied to enhance my facial looks and wear screaming jewelry for the sake of a low-cut.

This hair?
Anyway, I have to finalise my winter break itinerary before I end up staying in Yankee, my loss.

I'm off to work. Oh! This is my first time at my second job, I'm an Events' Usher.
I still want to take bar-tending classes sometime though.

Ignore typos and any mistakes as usual, Yinkuslolo dislikes proof-reading.

Je t'embarasse.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

If I am given the honor to choose the significant other

1. He will most likely not be drop-dead gorgeous. Just the good skin and lean torso do it for me.
Ps. I like it a lil rough. Update: liking it rough, means a lil dent to facial features.
I def like it chocolatey.

2. He should have the thinking faculty of an adult. The immature mode of thinking kill it for me. On the other hand, I don't want an [emotional] professor. I want to grow with you intellectually. I may be ahead, but I am cool with that, if you're ready to learn.

3. He should know how to chase for a kill without playing games.

4. Catchy traits: Funny/tricky/competitive/artsy.

I am tired of folks asking me to directly, or even directly, describe my type. If this describes a type, here it is. Pls, no one should ask me again.
I am not digging.
I don't live by fixed rules.
Things happen.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

"I'm a Fly-gerian..."

If u're current on bville you wud have heard that I met Kemberly, for like 30 secs, at the Independence Day parade in NY. Unknown to me, Original Mgbeke was there too but I dint meet her tho.
Wow, I'm not gonna go into details about the parade. I ran into other people too. Mehn! Seeing so many Nigerian just felt strange. Bad cue! It's high I paid Naija a visit.
I got a legit flag too, a Naija groupie sticker, 2 shirts, fried snails and some yeye Palmwine.
Below are a few pictures of the bunch.

some damn snails, my fave seafood. I dint even care about the potential james and john in it. I took it home, cleaned and ate. yum!

These over-revealing attires. Trust me, they didn't look sexy, their supposed-goal.
I was standing behind the stage, the best angle that i could get. Thus, my pix position. Towards the ned of the show, my friends and I realised that we must have been caught on tape cos we were close to the stage with the cameras across. You can't eat your cake and have it huh?
These were some Calabar dancers. Good work!I don't know what ethnicity this is, but they did their thing too.
Later that night, I dint go to the after-party party for many reasons but mostly because I wanted to chill with my friend, who graded from my uni last year. Newyorkers! I give them the upper hand. We were out like 12:30am and the streets were as busy as Oshodi on Friday afternoon. I may be generalising but the only part of NewYork that end up going to errytime is Manhattan. That place is damn busy. The nocturnal rendez-vous are poppin' tho.

This guy below was dressed up as batman. You can pay him 2 bucks and take a pic with him. I am talking business on the streets at 1:00am here. He carried me but I dont have that pic on here. The guy, sorry Batman, is effing strong mehn.

In other randomness, Mumcee is just a funny someborri. She went to Naija and guess what she posted to me? Toothbrush! Like, this is the first thing she is posting to me, by her own instincts. Toothbrush! I was like this woman! but I appreciate it though. All the brushes, that I have come across in Yankee are soft. I like enhanced bristles. But this toothbrush she sent is too hard. Too hard, if it mistakenly brushes your skin, it can bruise you.

je t'embarasse