Thursday, December 17, 2009

"You know that, I'll be coming home" (Bday special)

I prefer
  1. Sucking to Licking
  2. Humor to Swag
  3. Ketchup to Cheese
  4. Firm buns to great racks
  5. Chocolate to latte pigmentation
  6. creamed Hausa accent to British'
  7. Wine to Beer
  8. Spooning to Grinding
  9. Porn to CNN
  10. Hookah to Pot
  11. Sums to Papers
  12. Eyeliner to Lipstick
  13. Kunu to Smoothies
  14. Flats to Heels
  15. Sums to Papers
  16. Body to Face
  17. the Chase to the Kill
  18. good loving to cash

So, I really should be studying but Im just out of that mood. My Bday is in 2days, the 19th, Sat. Im going home next week. I'm not excited for either. I intended posting this on my bday, but Imma be busting my ass for my Orgo final then. So, here is my Bday special, my preferences. very random cos I was studying and these were the first things that came to my mind, in that order.
    The title is a line from John Legend's Coming Home.

I just realised that I want one of these badly lol. They are made by Z.

and Myne Whitman's e-Book, A Heart to Mend. Both for my break/bday.
Peace. Love. and Coconut.

    Tuesday, December 1, 2009

    "Birthday sex, Birthday Sex."

    Y'all be expecting read stuff about getting some action. holt! not yet, It's not yet my birthday yet.

    But in 19 days, to be exact. yes, Dec 19th! bomp! womp! lomp! Coincidentally, Robby and I are birthday mates. Just putting it out there, in case you want to organize a party for us on FB, buy some stuffs from eBay, send us an eCard, and hug us thru skype.

    This is going to be a legit year mark. Y'all know when your age grants you some statutory access, you be feeling fly. Lemme stop this round abt story, I dont know what this bday will look like. I dont have any expectations. Given it a serious thought and all I really want, besides the sentimental "Happy Birthday shout-outs", are
    Good Loving. most importantly. (I don't mean BAMF stunts). I just want to chill and you know spend some QT with loved ones. Now, this is too much to ask for?

    Adobe Photoshop for MAC. I need the App, for my hobby. (click on photos for more 411)

    And a camera bag for my canon rebel T1i, which I just got.
    This yr, I'll be jacking for my Orgo Exam final.
    Last year, I was in air for the most part.
    The year before that, I had >10 major college application essays, due the wk after. Explanatory.
    And before that, I was in stuck in HS, prepping for another exam.

    Btw, why is there a sketchy rumor about Yarddy being chronically ill? If the president is sick, how can the nation be healthy?

    Je t'embarasse.
    BAMF: Bad ass Mo^$^RFu*&(%^^$
    QT: Quality Time

    PS: My Text Size is off the hi-zack in this post, I don't have the patience to deal with Blogger's Editor. I tried and tried to no avail.

    Monday, November 23, 2009


    If you go to eat in a restaurant (**haha**, my mumcee pronounces the word in French but with the Yoruba tone), in Yankee, you are expected to tip the waiter. That is to my knowledge.

    I know not everyone will tip like a Johnny Depp, who tipped a waiter $4000.

    If you tip at all, my point in question lies somewhere there. How much? Most restaurants recommend 15%, where I reside. When I'm in a restaurant with poor service, I'm like 'say who die?!?' Reason is that I'm a middle class student, I can't be tipping $3 for every $15 or so meal, every time. During breaks, I eat out a lot. In fact, I love to eat dishes, from different places. Any Sushi, Panini or Pad Thai grubbies in blogsville? Related randomisity, I organized a Food fair for the Intl Stud Assoc at my school, last Sat. So much food, from different parts of the world, was too busy to sample much tho.

    Back to my tipping story, I pay for my eat-outs myself, most times. This one time, I went out with 4 other friends and we were billed ensemble. The waitress did not even ask if we wanted to pay separately. Anyway, you will not believe she indirectly told us to do the maths ie. calculate whose food costs so so and so. Escusez-moi? I expected her to apologise for not asking how we wanted to be billed and offer to sort out the bill. I was pissed seriously. And I bet she still expected to be tipped. After eating with delight, we started using the calculator in our phones to divide tax and ish. Trust American students, every man for his bill.

    Another situation, that a friend told me about, was when she ate at a Thai restaurant and forgot to tip. One of the waitresses caught up with her and her friends to remind them to do so, out side the restaurant. Last time, I checked, tipping was recommended and not necessary. Am I right?

    Maybe it is the Nigerian mentality in me but I think it is up to these restaurants to pay their workers well and not make customers feel guilty for not tipping. In Naija restaurants, with comparable standards, tipping is not a must but for sure, customers leave their bill payment balances(change) for the waiters, according to their own judgment.

    One time, a friend decided to have a to-go at some place because she did not want to feel guilty for not tipping the waiter, if she ate in there.

    Case in a nutshell, I'm just a middle class student, who likes to eat. I don't want any waiter to think that I'm miserly cos don't tip generously. I try.

    PS: I am not referring to 5-star restaurants.

    Monday, November 16, 2009

    "Where is Leggy!?" I have the on

    I promise that this is not with relation to the recent and definitely, unwarranted dispute in blogsville.

    If you try to go to Leggy's blog, you will get the 'the blog cannot be found' default. Actually, Leggy deleted her blog with the intention of coming back in 2010 because some non-blogsville folks, who found out her blog, were reading her supposed-anonymous posts. From the source, these non-bville residents think that she is writing stuff about them and she decided to go off-air for a while.

    Well, the problem is that she is trying to recover her deleted blog acct and that has not been successful. She told me to ask If you know how to recover a recently ( less than 90 days), pls let her know and drop your suggestions for recovery.

    Currently, she is back to her first url,

    Je t'embarasse.

    PS: Right know, all my tests have rendered my technologically-challenged. I have no ideas

    Thursday, November 5, 2009

    Dating in College, potentially biased

    College here, refers to a typical undergraduate higher-institution. In my case, I go to a college, one that is effectively diverse ethnically yet a white-dominated university. Lemme stop at that demographic yarning.

    If you're a regular reader of my blog, you may want to dust your memory on the liberalism-supposedly present in my school.

    On monday afternoon, I was sitting in a library and the wall on the main floor is made of see-through glass. I was looking through the glass, when I saw 3 males and female run through the campus naked, like effin' stark naked in broad day light. I know you are wondering who they were. Some white cross country runners, they usually run naked laps but I did not know that they ran naked even in broad daylight, in this cold. Funny part of the story is that the naked runners stumbled upon a prospective students' tour that was being given at the same time. ha! This is the second time that I'm seeing naked folks run through campus.

    On Wednesday, I took the same spot in the glass-walled library and I saw two squirrels gettin' at it on the curb outside. It was a the doggy style, then I was like that spot in the library is not healthy for me esp. if I've got limited time to study.

    Onto the topic of this post, Dating in college, I have some observations.
    Before I came to college, I was accustomed to the baby steps approach to dating between 16 - 22 yr olds. This may be as a result of the fact that I grew up in Nigeria.
    • Guy notices some babe
    • Guy chases the babe and gets her phone number by hook, book or crook
    • Keeps toasting her persistently and girl say no everytime
    • Girl succumbs to a date after 1 - 3mth, depends on how much the babe is feeling the guy
    • They get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff
    • Girl and boy keep playing cat and mouse for 3 more mths, then they make it official
    • Most times, the nookie is included after 6 mths, and their sexual compatibility is investigated/improved.
    Now, in college, dating is done in reverse.
    • Drunk boy and girl meet at a party, during the weekend
    • They make out.
    • They meet at parties on the following weekends and hook up.
    • They keep doing the koko, not exclusively and find each other sexually-compatible
    • Then, they get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff by going out on dates
    • After 2 mths or so, they make it official
    Now, I will not state my preference for the pattern that I like but the basis of my observation is that sexual compatibility seems to be the first criterion for dating anyone in my American college. On the other hand, sex is usually the last bus-stop on the to-do list in the typical Naija dating system.

    One may criticise this college system of dating but I think that if sex is the pillar ( sometime, the purpose) of most relationships amongst 18 -22yr olds in college, then let the sexual compatibility be the initial criterion rather than beating around the bush.

    You may beg to differ?

    PS: miss natural, you wrote that I look familiar. from where? i may just know you. email me cos I can't comment on that post for some unknown reason.

    Sunday, November 1, 2009

    DC chilling, Halloween and other stories (My first personal pics included)

    Sup fellow Blogsvillites?

    I see some new bloggers popping, some have migrated to Twitter to discuss Blogsville and other issues, some funny/controversial/*^%? ones are acquiring a fan base, some females are chopping the hair off (including moi), some are still posting up poems (i dont read most them tho), some are just there, some are tryna get the Blogsville critic/judge title and some have gone MIA. Y'all know where you belong? How y'all been tho?

    Mehn, Ms. Dufa's blog's playlist has been on, on my lappie, for the last 3 hrs. I'm feeling most of those jamz mehn. Like, my iTunes is becoming 2000 and late. Homegirl is busy jare. I was on Ms. Dufa's blog, after a long while today. PS: If I don't comment on your blog, trust me, I am in touch thru my Google Reader. if you don't use that ish, get on it. Google reader has been saving milions of my seconds of opening individual blogs.

    So, how was my DC trip?
    Last wkend was my fall break and I went PG chillin'. Good stuff mehn. But my 45 mins flight from JFK was unfortunately eventful. Fashi that side sha. I went shopping, chilling, went to DC's Chinatown branched to Smithsonian and saw the monument, White House, Air and Space Musuem. Basically, orisirisi avenues of American History. It was coincidentally Howard's Homecoming and before you ask I wasn't at any of them events but I went to Howard on Monday. That's the first HBCU, that I went visiting and guess what? I had to dress up because they dress-up to school at Howard. Say wetin happen! some folks at my school even go to class in their PJs mehn. Dressing is mainly for night time. But I wore my koi-koi oh cos I baffed up and my legs pain me tire that day. Howard has some strong hilly parts mehn. I met some folks there, cool Naija people feeling fresh, as expected. Some Howard infrastructures need to be renovated tho but I like the school. Even though, it's like the opposite of mine.

    And then! I lost my Halloween virginity on Friday. Shit mehn. Kanye West was kicking it. For those that are not current, I was Kanye West (with boobs) and two of my friends were Taylor Swift and Beyonce. It was a long night jo. I'm not gonna dish out the long story but I recovered with 12 hrs of sleep.

    And guess whataaaa! I'm posting pics. I have not posted pics of myself not because I don't want to identifed but I did not want to have a face to my blog-story. Anyway, due to popular demand, here are my Kanye pics. I didn't get the shutter glasses but I found that top in DC. I will like to warn you that on a regular day, I will not look like this. Well, I present to you Yinkuslolo, in her naked Kanye-ego. Dayum! I can't believe I'm not having some hawt [read: sexy] pic of my regular self up, as my first personal photo. whatevs mehn!
    She's wearing a wig cos she's actually a brunette and I'm holding my shoe polish.
    "Yo Taylor! I'm real happy for you and Imma let you finish
    but Beyonce got the best video of all time!"

    UPDATE: Pics have been removed.

    PS: I usually have Orin by Adol on replay. I think the song is not popular and it's not really my in preffered genre but I have been feeling it for the last 6 wks. who else has?

    Friday, October 30, 2009

    Joke of the day.

    Catholics Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

    The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

    The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'...."

    The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

    The fourth Catholic man says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

    Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

    She replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist, and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God..."

    I smiled but didn't laff. Semi-gist abt my DC trip, coming soon.
    How y'all been doing?

    Tuesday, October 20, 2009

    Random Quickie

    My fall break starts on Friday and I'm going to DC, for my first time. What's popping there? I guess I'll find out.

    My friend and I were discussing Halloween costumes. She said she wants to be a bee. Then, I mistakenly heard Taylor Swift and she was like, 'Yeah, I can be taylor Swift'. From nowhere, I said, ' and I can be Kanye West.' That's going to be ridic. She's a brunnette but she's gonna buy a blonde wig, while I get some kicks and rock my big chop.

    Oh yeah, I made a public debut of my short hair last Sat. Erryone was like, 'Rock it!' but I look so different. I also leveled the cut and it's almost molo. Honestly, I don't give a hoot about my looks these days. Popping lip rubs and lined-eyes help though.

    The shape of my head cracks me up. Imagine, those wicked girls, back in high school, that used to call me big-head. Haha, big head ko, big head ni. I have just been adoring my sexy medulla.

    New England suddenly fast forwarded to winter over the weekend. Where the eff did fall go to? Though, today was warm.

    Saturday, October 17, 2009

    So, I gave the 'talk'

    It was basically about my transition to America(college really), as an African student. I didn't do the Nigerian culture ish and decided to present this sort of talk at the last min, actually 4 hrs before. Believe me, there was more to say.
    This is not the exact version cos I added and omitted some stuff, while I talked. I wish I did better tho.

    read the sketch below------------------------
    **Speak some Yoruba…**
    I just spoke an adage meaning (**insert here**) in a language that is not called Nigerian. And definitely not called African. It’s Yoruba.

    I remember my 'Coming to America' like the last meal that I just ate. Every time I felt the plane descending, I thought the pilot was about to announce landing. I was anxious to step on the land that supposedly flows with milk, Mariah Careys, skyscrapers and honey. I was eager to touch the American soil. Yet, I arrived at the smaller-than-expected airport and came straight to the **insert school name here** bubble in a town in the middle of nowhere....otherwise known as amazing ***insert town here***

    As a freshman, who had only seen the campus online, the college's beautiful, yet confusing, layout impressed me. I don’t have to emphasize how excited I was about the dryers until they shrunk my clothes or the way the butt-wetting automatic flush toilets in **campus center*** welcomed me. But the number of ‘how are u doing?s’, that I got per day was uncountable.

    My presence in gatherings did not arouse any peculiar interest, besides my name badge with an 11-letter word, **guess unusual Yoruba name**. I had to explain the meaning and origin of my name, which actually means a full sentence, God surrounds me. Then, teach folks how to pronounce my name with the right intonation, until I gave up and accepted the anglo-phonetized version. In the process, I get the ‘You have an accent’, I tell folks that my accent is Nigerian. Then, the ‘Oh! You are African, what’s is that fluffy snack eaten in Angola?’ or ‘You speak English so well’ pops up.

    Initially, I explained that because I am Nigerian, I am not meant to know stuff about other African countries like what people eat in Somali or smoke in Burkina Faso because Africa is some huge continent, bigger than Europe. I'm Nigerian, and I only speak one out of the 250 + languages we speak in Nigeria and English, which is my primary language. I have told people times without number that even though, I am considered an alien, visa-wise in the US, I have been speaking English all my life.

    Overtime, I eventually ran out of patience for having to give what seemed like endless explanations. I became nettled and wondered why some people had a single story about Africa. The type of Africa depicted on TV, the primary source of global information. The Africa that has nothing worth publicizing other than starving children, endless wars, roaming lions and funny-sounding languages. But after spending sometime, I realized it is the single story, according to Chimamanda Adichie, that most of us have in mind that gives us a picture of a group of people. Unfortunately, this is true for africa. for me, it is not merely a single...." it is not merely a single story for a group of people from a country but a continent. It is not my fault that I initially thought going to New York guaranteed my seeing a celebrity. It is not my fault that I didn’t know the lower economic class also existed in America.

    Whose fault is it? The informant, who omitted some information and repeated the preferred information that gives a false image. Or the informed, who fails to inquire?

    Nonetheless, It's been a year and I'm still going strong. The American experience has been thoroughly entertaining. The cold during the winter is definitely incredible; I still look forward to shoving through the snow, touching it and checking the weather every 12 hrs. I still try to be politically correct, by **school's** standards, when I communicate with people. Don't forget that my mind is colonized by the British? Yet, I dwell in the African realm. I look forward to where my name is pronounced with the right intonation, when I can wear my regular trousers and take a siesta on the verandah in December.

    I have left my beloved Nigeria for 18 months now. Yet, I think of ***school's name**, as aggressive, eclectic, motivating but I am amazed at how she wraps you in her energy, sexiness, openness and fun spitting expletives at all irrespective of color, gender and musical preference, a feature, sadly missing in many other places that I've been. ***words of F-Iyanda***

    I’m glad that I came.
    Je t'embarrase

    Wednesday, October 14, 2009


    Recently, I have been askin different questions. Blogsville residents are the best. I'm not done yet people. biko nu, help a sister out.

    This friday, the [somewhat-inactive] African Stud. Assoc. in my school want to have a mini-show. So, Yinkuslolo has to do something. I will talk about the African student transition to an American university and talk about the Nigerian(read:African) experience.

    Why? because I am funny, even unintentionally. I don't know the humor these folks see in me but imma do something anyway.

    If you have anything to share, pls, leave a comment about it.

    Anything like,
    Myths about Nigerians?
    You know you're African[/Nigerian], when you _____?
    If you study in the US[or anywhere abroad], what are your [funny] transition memories/encounters.

    Even a link to some online information will be appreciated.
    This week is crajjeeee mehn, my Beast mode is in full swing definitely.

    Help me with suggestions abeg! Thanx in adv.

    Sunday, October 11, 2009

    Dilemma 2 (Hair) update - Imma let you finish

    But Yinkuslolo's chop is the best of '09 (did I hear Solange's?)!
    I went for the big chop 3 hours ago.

    Before, I had two hair textures. The last time that I got a perm was in March.

    After the chop. I bet you're wondering what that eeny teeny beety is doing in front. If I decide to rock my cut, I want to have bangs in front. So, I can just straighten it, whenever I am ready to bare it open.

    All those yeye chemicals in relaxers have given my treated hair a tint of purple/brown/whatever colour. I am not even sure, I may cut that front part off totally but I want the bangs tho. We'll see.
    PS: Obviously, or if not, my friend used a pair of scissors for my cutting. Click on picture, for a better view.
    Now, I have to just weave that front portion, don my hair piece and one of my problems is already solved.
    je t'embarasse

    Friday, October 9, 2009

    Two huge Dilemmas

    I plan my breaks, as far as three months ahead. Honestly, it's just because of flight costs.

    But I have been debating where to spend my spring break. Seriously, I'm confused.
    I already planned to go to Naija this December, cos Mumcee will be there too. Also, I get to see my friends and folks, I have missed them. I get to retain my sanity. Naija is really home to me.

    But my mum can't make it again, she is staying home in Budapest. I really want to see her. Else, this long-distance mother-daughter relationship will loose its elasticity. I have only been home for 3 weeks, this year.

    I can't go to both places. So I have to decide.

    Pros of going to Naija:
    • I get to see friends and folks.
    • I will enjoy the tropical weather and dodge this punishment, called winter.
    • I will possibly go on a mini West-African tour.
    • I will lose $2000+ of my money to the cheapest air service that I can find to spend just 3 weeks.
    • I will not see the most important, yet some-what absent, person in my life.
    Pros of going home, Budapest:
    • I'll see the infamous MumCee
    • I will def go on a mini-European tour, if I can stay warm. I had better be warm ni.
    • By hook, crook, or book, I will book a cheap flight. Even if I have to stop over in the north pole.
    • I will not see my friends, almost 2yrs now. I feel different from them.
    • I will die of cold. No kidding, Yankee is cold, but Hungary is freezing yo. Clear slippery ice is not the best thing to be walked upon

    To be honest, runsing three continents is no joke, not even funny. Don't do it, the fun ends after the first round-about trip.
    Where should I go?

    My hair!!!

    I can't maintain my real hair. It's treated but due for relaxing. I see no point in paying someone $60 to do my hair, when I will still get a weave. Ajebo girls in my school know nada about making one's hair. Now, my hair is short, breaking, somewhat-unkempt and covered with my lace-front wig. When the winter comes, it will just break off totally.

    Thus, I want to take the big chop this weekend and go natural. I may not even grow it out, just keep it low. The low-cut hair-do is low maintenance but I prefer the long hair length. I will still be wearing my orisirisi hair extensions/wigs/weaves.

    I am not yet into the empowerment thing, when you take the big chop and go natural or otherwise.
    I want to do it for the financial benefit and time-saving advantage.
    The hair is not even growing so I will let it go.

    So, what am I still waiting for? Damn, I don't wanna remember what I looked like when I was on low-cut, back in high school. not the best of my looks. What if I have to bare my real hair and not like my cut. Well, I am too occupied to enhance my facial looks and wear screaming jewelry for the sake of a low-cut.

    This hair?
    Anyway, I have to finalise my winter break itinerary before I end up staying in Yankee, my loss.

    I'm off to work. Oh! This is my first time at my second job, I'm an Events' Usher.
    I still want to take bar-tending classes sometime though.

    Ignore typos and any mistakes as usual, Yinkuslolo dislikes proof-reading.

    Je t'embarasse.

    Wednesday, October 7, 2009

    If I am given the honor to choose the significant other

    1. He will most likely not be drop-dead gorgeous. Just the good skin and lean torso do it for me.
    Ps. I like it a lil rough. Update: liking it rough, means a lil dent to facial features.
    I def like it chocolatey.

    2. He should have the thinking faculty of an adult. The immature mode of thinking kill it for me. On the other hand, I don't want an [emotional] professor. I want to grow with you intellectually. I may be ahead, but I am cool with that, if you're ready to learn.

    3. He should know how to chase for a kill without playing games.

    4. Catchy traits: Funny/tricky/competitive/artsy.

    I am tired of folks asking me to directly, or even directly, describe my type. If this describes a type, here it is. Pls, no one should ask me again.
    I am not digging.
    I don't live by fixed rules.
    Things happen.

    Tuesday, October 6, 2009

    "I'm a Fly-gerian..."

    If u're current on bville you wud have heard that I met Kemberly, for like 30 secs, at the Independence Day parade in NY. Unknown to me, Original Mgbeke was there too but I dint meet her tho.
    Wow, I'm not gonna go into details about the parade. I ran into other people too. Mehn! Seeing so many Nigerian just felt strange. Bad cue! It's high I paid Naija a visit.
    I got a legit flag too, a Naija groupie sticker, 2 shirts, fried snails and some yeye Palmwine.
    Below are a few pictures of the bunch.

    some damn snails, my fave seafood. I dint even care about the potential james and john in it. I took it home, cleaned and ate. yum!

    These over-revealing attires. Trust me, they didn't look sexy, their supposed-goal.
    I was standing behind the stage, the best angle that i could get. Thus, my pix position. Towards the ned of the show, my friends and I realised that we must have been caught on tape cos we were close to the stage with the cameras across. You can't eat your cake and have it huh?
    These were some Calabar dancers. Good work!I don't know what ethnicity this is, but they did their thing too.
    Later that night, I dint go to the after-party party for many reasons but mostly because I wanted to chill with my friend, who graded from my uni last year. Newyorkers! I give them the upper hand. We were out like 12:30am and the streets were as busy as Oshodi on Friday afternoon. I may be generalising but the only part of NewYork that end up going to errytime is Manhattan. That place is damn busy. The nocturnal rendez-vous are poppin' tho.

    This guy below was dressed up as batman. You can pay him 2 bucks and take a pic with him. I am talking business on the streets at 1:00am here. He carried me but I dont have that pic on here. The guy, sorry Batman, is effing strong mehn.

    In other randomness, Mumcee is just a funny someborri. She went to Naija and guess what she posted to me? Toothbrush! Like, this is the first thing she is posting to me, by her own instincts. Toothbrush! I was like this woman! but I appreciate it though. All the brushes, that I have come across in Yankee are soft. I like enhanced bristles. But this toothbrush she sent is too hard. Too hard, if it mistakenly brushes your skin, it can bruise you.

    je t'embarasse

    Monday, September 28, 2009

    Beast mode!

    So! This wkend was sorta ideal to me.

    Friday night, I chilled with my friends at a graduate student's house for 6.5 hrs. From making dinner, to baking the dessert, to playing cardgames, Kems( just like Naija's jackpot) and spoons (just like Naija's donkeyride). Funniest thing was that I chilled with my Calculus Instructor from last semester. This guy tried to give me tough time last semester. Not tryna make mouth or anything, but he made me pay extra attn to Maths for the first time in my life. Lmao! I used to think that Maths na beans. I still do, really. At the end of the day, he blamed it on my participation, when I thought I was a noise-maker in Maths class lol. I was still angry with him until I saw on Friday night and we became cool after hanging out for 6 hrs +. He is mad cool tho. Also, I learnt a card trick from a Maths PHD student. Rough cuteness oozing! (If you want more info on that description, holla!)

    Saturday night, the party my student group planned sucked. =/ Up to the extent that I had to leave to go chill at another joint. Let's just say the other party I went to was on a mad roll. Gbedu express! 5 mins after I got there, Psafe came and there was a rumor that all under-21s should use the back door to escape. See folks rushing out like sardines. Trust college students, the party resumed after the drama.

    This week, I have 3 major tests, 2 labs reports and other random assignments due. Ok!

    This is why I annoyingly love college. So much work to do, I am not complaining again. I'll just do everything bumper-to-bumper and look forward to the weekend.

    Oh yes! Yinkuslolo may be in New York, this coming wkend, for the famous Naija Independence Parade and orisirisi celebration. I have never attended. Who has? What happens? Who is going?

    Ok, I never write about my wkends on here.

    Good night y'all, I have 5 classes on Monday. Beast-mode, please!

    Je t'embrasse

    Tuesday, September 22, 2009

    Pusher 101 - Open letter to my mother

    You are not the best mother in this world.

    But you have brought out the best in me.
    • Your wavering maternal presence unleashed my independence prematurely.
    • Your mediocre culinary skills forced me into the kitchen, at age eight, to learn how to make that eforiro.
    • You drove by me, when I was talking to that boy. Even at age twelve, you trusted me. Maybe you didn't care. I thought you trusted me to not mess up. And I didn't.
    • I wanted to learn how to drive, at age sixteen. You let me learn with the car. The only car we had. The car I was ashamed of. I bashed it. The car looked worse. I learnt my lesson. You smiled.
    • Second year in college and you have not asked to see my grades. You taught me that my grades do you no good. Thus, I have never received a present for acing my classes, not even in elementary school.
    • I can't impress you, you exhaust me. Funny enough, you are my fuel.
    1. I keep praying for your addiction to Sudoku to go away..
    2. I am sorry for hitting you, when I sleep. I have told you times without number, to change the size of the bed. All my life, we've have shared the same room, same bed. Well, different beds but same size.
    3. I hope you learn how to eat sushi, someday.
    4. I don't want us to stop our periodic family gossip.
    5. I want you to stop saying 'Mehn!'. It's my thing.
    6. I look forward to the day, we will share stories about the 'boy department'.

    I am not going to praise you but next time, I win 9 awards at the end of the school year, I want you to be proud of me. I doubt if that will ever happen again. You can, at least, come stand by me and not just clap in seat. That, I find it difficult to forgive you for.

    I want to be a better mother to my kids. That's a feat.

    Happy Birthday Mummy!

    Friday, September 18, 2009

    Temptation 104.....Liberalism supposedly

    I go to one of those extremely liberal American colleges. Views from the right are just as welcome, all for the sake of the proclaimed eclecticism.

    • Sex party
    Think about that literally. That's the name of an annual party in my school. This year's sex party is tomorrow. It is attended in ready-to-get-kpanshed apparel. No kidding, babes go to V.Secrets to get all the lingerie and the guys, fo sho, go in hot bum shorts. If you still do not get, there is live-sex going on by attendees in the party. Sex! That's the theme, proclaiming the human sexuality. I dint go last year. This year, Yinkuslolo and a friend wanted to go see that the ish happens for real cos I know after college, where else will I get to see such party? but guess what? tickets are already sold out. Even the fake ones are elusive. Some students are bidding the hoarded tickets

    Update: I got fake tickets. U get? Some students made fake tickets for the sex party. So, I gathered my babes, with the fake tickets of cos. Unfortunately, the frat, where the sex party was at, was already filled to capacity. Hahaha, those with even real tickets were still outside cos some fake ticket holders got inside already and took up room space. mehn! it was mad cold and most babes were just with bra and shorts, while some guys were with shorts, ties and maybe, handcuffs. orisirisi gears for sexing. Oh college!

    Talking about parties, I have to plan a Uniform party for next weekend on behalf of my student group. A uniform party is simply a costume party, dressing up as whatever you desire, naughty maid, sexy nurse, hot CEO or Lady Gaga.

    • Gender-neutral bathrooms
    Well, if you don't get, it means both sexes share the same bathroom space. There is no restroom specific to the Gents or Ladies.

    A couple of minutes ago, I was trying to do number 2, to no avail. When I came out of the toilet stall, my homie, was shaving his goat-like strands and admiring his stubble. This guy lives next to me, actually we purposely live next together cos we're cool with each other like that asper friends. Now, we see each other in the bathroom, [read: in towels] all for the sake of the gender-neutral bathroom. Don't get me wrong. It's either you're excited that you will be seeing the opposite sex in your bathroom or you get offended. I'm cool with the ish yo! One of my homegirls is roommates[read: shares the room] with a guy. I don't know how they do it. Note: They are not going out. The roommate has a gf sef.

    The other day, I was rushing into a toilet stall and bumped into a guy, The guy was pants down doing numero dos, I guess. I just quickly exchanged "sorry" apology with the guy "It is ok" reply and ran into the next empty stall. Still in shock, not like I saw anything, I uttered "God" and I'm sure the boy heard from his stall. He may pass me for some freak, not knowing that I say "God in place of "oh shit". Oops! Thou shall not say the name of the Lord in vain.

    • Sex magazine
    There is an annual sex magazine in my school. I was going thru the past editions and saw some students pose nude[read: stark naked] for the magazine. The magazine also contains sexuality articles.

    In the fall, the cross-country males' team run thru the freshman dorms naked.

    Ok, these points are not the main reasons, why I think my school's liberalism is questionable. Part two post is on the way.

    Some ish going on.
    Last Saturday, Yinkuslolo tried a cigarette. She dint even choke. Someone implied that she smokes like an advanced beginner. She doesn't like the feeling in the cavities. So, it's not on the prospective habits' list. She even took a pic with the whiff/poke going off. [read: I was trying to do some Ambersome shot, like the one on the side tab of my blog] Pardon me! I think smoking socially [esp with a cigar] is classy. More explanation on smoking socially, if needed.

    Hey! It's Friday night.
    Looks like imma just chill with my French Sauvignon [weekend wine of choice] or jet out with the homie.

    Y'all be thinking along the lines of good girl going bad. No worries pple, I do just wine and no wine-buddy in sight yet!

    Tuesday, September 15, 2009


    I can't understand this silent French movie

    Organic chemistry is gonna kill my scholastic ego.

    Mumcee is somewhere across the Pacific? I don't even know and I am tempted not to care.

    Too much oestrogen flying everywhere but there is no XY-chromosomed being worthy of it? maybe, maybe not.

    • 5 classes + 1 skill lesson.

    • 2 jobs.

    • Anticipated year-long chemistry research.

    • Community service - hospital volunteerism.

    • Co-chair of school's international student organization.

    and all I have done today is daydream.

    fucking daydream bitch!

    My cavities are sore but will be waterlogged at noon, tomorrow.

    I want to cry but even my myopic eyes are dried.

    I don't want to infect anyone with this undeserving sadness.

    I want no sorries but solutions. Maybe I'm moving too fast.

    I can't dare to slow down

    Ps: sympathy's not needed. Thank you.

    Sunday, September 13, 2009

    Temptation 103, S.E.X


    This is no pseudo-orgasmic experience on a roller coaster or some kpanshing-deprived outburst.
    I know Leggy and maybe other bloggers have been hovering around this virginity issue but I have been asked questions . I wonder whether people think I am a major in sex virginity.

    I have some gfs, who are in a dilemma of leaving the not-yet-penetrated state and moving to the chooking level. Now the questions that are withholding virgins back, not from me but a third party.

    'Hypothetically thinking as a virgin-girl'
    • Q:How much does this losing-your-virginity ish cost?
    • A: I need bville to help me out. Deflowering causes u a brief pain and sex is blissful, not always.
    • Q:Do our bros really care if they marry a virgin?
    • A: In this century, nobody buys a Ferrari without making sure the engine runs smoothly. But for reals, guys! Will you give more respect to your wife, if she's a virgin? Putting all the cultural obligations aside, we know no one is gonna do the red sheet-full keg or white sheet-half keg in this age wedding ritual.
    • Q: Our sexed sisters, do you regret loosing your virginity?
    • A: Bville help me out.
    • Q: If a girl is under 19 and she is determined to lose her virginity cos she thinks that is what is right for her, will you be in support?
    • A: Now, I have two answers because I am morally religiously obligated to proclaim sex-until-marriage but I also believe in doing what makes you happy, if you will not look like a mugu.
    • Q: Greatest question I keep thinking about: Is it advisable for two virgins to disvirgin each other?
    • A: Bville! That's why I'm asking you.
    I hope bville sexed folks can help me out, so I can give more reasonable answers, when I'm consulted. And the non-yet-sexed folks too, your input is tangible.
    It's important mehn. I go to college, at the end of almost every party, comes a newly-deflowered babe.

    Update: From the comments, which I have read so far, it seems folks tag the maturity needed for losing ur virginity at a particular age. I mean, your reasoning does not really parallel with your age?

    Je t'embarasse

    Saturday, September 12, 2009

    Pictures for thought

    Regular Simpsons
    Modified Simpsons for Angolan viewers

    ? Imagine ?Is Google racist? Don't bother searching, they have amended the suggestion. This pic is not for jokes

    Disclaimer: This is not my creation, just a rib-cracking intention. If it struck a nerve, pele! It made me laff.

    **he tsk he tsk he tsk** (me, laffing in French)

    Tuesday, September 8, 2009

    Case in Point....Friends

    Law 36: Disdain Things you cannot have.....

    Back in Naija, I had many friends. I went to a boarding school, and I was like one of the 'majority'. I am tempted to compare getting friends then with shopping for clothes in Teju-Osho market. Some friends are on sale, some are in bend-down select, some are meant for you cos they fit you perfectly and some are difficult to get cos you have to bargain for you to come to terms. I was the girl that had many friends but no girlfriend wanted to become committed simply because I could go out of the gf r/ship and get new buddies asap even though I am not a huge socialite. Although, I never had such intentions. At the same time, I am not into the BFF thing like marrying a fellow girlfriend on facebook. If you're my friend, you will know. I can discuss the cute guy's torso with you but I may not kiss you in photos, when we go out and have a good time. I don't know if this ironic, but most convos with my close buddies start with insults.
    For example,
    Friend: Idiot!
    Yinkuslolo: Cow! what have you been milking?
    It's all love. Sadly, most of these close friends are in Nigeria.Sometimes, I feel like importing my friends from Nigeria. We don't really do the "I miss you" thing cos we are cocky like that.

    Expectedly, when I came to Yankee, I had to start making friends from scratch. I kinda liked the process initially but I think I lost, even though I had so many acquaintances. Surprisingly, It came to a point, when I had to look for buddies for a Friday night. Clearer picture: There are only two Nigerians per se in my school. The kind of friends, I like, were lacking in my school. Maybe, I have not just found them. Maybe Yinkuslolo has a problem but it is definitely not social ineptitude. I have friends, who call me to come have a good time. But it is that 'good time' that I am not chill with.
    • I kind of have standards for a friend, if I am to decide. My kind of friends should simply be out-going, know what to say about the 'boys' and share a mutual sense of humor. Most importantly, you have to be of intellectual benefit. I don't really care about your being uber-smart or "Chanel Iman"-beautiful. Most times, other virtues matter the most.
    • Yinkuslolo likes to go out sober and not-high. Better still, I am too concerned about the unconsciousness of my actions, if I get drunk. Some of my college friends like to get high or wasted before going out. Neither do I have the patience to wait nor appreciate the somewhat-awkward moment as I watched them smoke a joint last Friday. Now I ask myself, should we really be friends? What positivity has the friendship brought about?
    • With regards to the above, I don't like pre-gaming with beer. But you can tease me with red wine and I am good to roll. Unfortunately, college kids do six-packs and I don't wanna feel too cool by bringing my own wine errytime, So, I just chill with the cranberry juice mixer.
    • I will not deceive myself. I prefer black friends. We just have more things to talk about. Whether it be the preferred party style or taste in guys. Most of my friends are black anyway though I have friends of random ethnicities. Jokes: A buddy told me that I now think like blonds cos I have too many non-black friends, according to my tagged facebook pictures.
    One of my close friends last year, left the school and the friendship gradually ran its course before that. I realised that I really value friendships but not everyone gets my way of showing it. After that, I became friends with the 'cool' kids, who wanted to be friends with me.

    This sophomore year, I have decided to be myself, to be comfortable in my social skin. Make new friends. Keep the old ones I like. Disdain the ones that prove too tough to keep.

    Sometimes, you want some people to be your friends but they already have theirs. You don't need to compete with the other group of friends. Because your true friends will find you.

    PS: Everybody is dropping bombs now oh.
    1. Naeto-C has dropped the Ako mi ti Poju video. First thing that struck was the white chick. I don't have the energy to care.
    2. Banky W also dropped the Strong Ting video. Twas a bomber. First thing that struck was the fact that the vid was shot in SA. Could it not have been shot in Naija? You may be thinking, 'the end justifies the means', I do too
    3. And guess what? Lady effing Gaga dropped the Paparazzi video. Damn, my lovable bitch brought it on as expected. Mind you. That's some X-rates video.

    PPS: Today was the first day of classes, and you already know who dozed off during the latter half of her first class this semester. That's like shet effing mehn! I am so embarrassed about my unexpected lackadaisical attitude. I rarely doze off in class and I never miss class except there is some serious kini. I had better get it together this semester.

    Sunday, September 6, 2009

    Talking swagger, talking fashion...

    So, I was going thru the archive of, one of my fave blogs, and I came across this. Unfortunately, according to my own judgement, this was not discussed

    "I'm curious to hear what you and others think about those without the attitude or those without "swagger" since there is a distinction being made between the two. A lot of people these days are using the concept of swagger as an ideal to be achieved--something that makes you cool. In other words, if you don't have swagger then you're not cool. A lot of times, this is based on how a person looks or what a person wears. I guess what I'm trying to get people to think about is: what is REALLY cool? Is it really about wearing the "right" accessories and wearing clean shoes?"

    I have found myself thinking along the same lines too.

    One thing I know is that not everyone can be innovative fashion-wise. At least, I know I am not, at the mo. Almost everything I wear is an idea from someone. If I see someone with my body type or poise, I look for something admirable on them and try that style. Seeing that I can easily identify with the Beyonce-type body shape. I have been told so cos Bey is curvaceous. Lol, one of my girlfriends was like my bootay can work anything. haha. OK, check my twitter background on Na dem sabi

    Although, I can be labeled fashion conscious. I like to know what's hip in so-so season. but I follow so many fashion blogs and call admire an Alexander Wang's or Balmain's. You will not see me in those though. Denims are my staple.

    I went shopping last wkend, and I actually spent about 80% of my time in the Males' section, shopping for shirts. No, that's not a lesbo move. I am just feeling the shirt with leggings/tights movement lately.

    What does swagger mean to you?
    wearing what's cool? knowing how to dress?
    adding 'swag' to ur screen name on any portal doesn't, for sure.

    Orientation ends Monday,
    orisirisi planning ends Monday. Yay!
    Classes start Tuesday,
    work starts Tuesday. Nay!
    I want the transition to last forever.
    I am not ready for a semester,
    promised to be stricken with all-nighter-s.

    Friday, September 4, 2009

    Kreative Blogger Tag

    I was tagged by YNC, so I have to share seven facts about myself, in no particular order.
    1. I love food seafood, especially snails that I prepare from scratch myself.
    2. I sometimes come off as dumb purposely because my brain (not even my DDs) takes the better part of the attention.
    3. I remember people's first and last names, of almost every ethnicity, even if I see them in print just once. I am not a stalker but I still remember the names of my primary six classmates.
    4. I don't know how to appreciate things conventionally cos I am shy like that but I know how to pamper my beloveds.
    5. I am a spontaneous romantic. You will not discover this side of me except you crack unleash it.
    6. I don't like writing papers. I skim thru my posts rather than proof-read, which I do 2 days later. Walahi! I detest writing, other than blogging and chatting. I would rather write a 5-hr calculus exam than write a 2-page paper.
    7. I have a wavering self-esteem and I loathe this virtue.

    Now, I have something to refer to when I am asked to describe myself. Whoo! Describing one's self is no joke.

    I tag my fellow bloggers. Una plenty.

    PS: Blueprint 3 is on the way. A new obsession is on the way.
    Shawty get it down.
    Dad-Daddy go home
    Venus vs Mars.

    Wednesday, September 2, 2009

    Feminism, sometimes an escape route

    Obviously, I have the X-X chromosome.

    I am a feminist by expectation but a mere passive supporter of feminism by decision. Just to add a lil sum'in, I support masculism too. Well, to be clearer, I dont give a damn about Hilary Clinton being the first US president or Lady Gaga's right to discuss a pun-intended disco stick.

    When everyone is tryna prove why men shud take up culinary duties, not only in Top Chef, I think of the way women use feminism as a form of armor. In order to make a simple presentation about breast implants, you have think about not triggering some feminism-induced nerve. Eff political correctness!Whenever person A tells me something along the lines of 'Girls! and petty things.' Yeah right, I am meant to put on my feminism armor and tell person A that that statement is sexist. Oh well, some ladies use that feminism response to make person A guilty. Well, I am sometimes person A. As a girl, I sometimes tell girls that we worry about petty things. Two generic online examples, facebook and blogger. Check your homepage, most facebook updates are often by females. And blogger! most posts, I am in position to declare them unwarranted for or ingenious, are authored by females. That's it, on the average, we females talk more. Thus, we tend to talk gibberish more. So, use the feminism armor for the right sexist defense. I don't appreciate using feminism as a coat of armor, when someone criticizes a girl about her benching 100lbs.

    To be honest, I think feminism is the outcome of some women liberation. Feminism is important, especially in regions, where gender inequality has not been fully regarded.

    PS: Just to reiterate, I am a passive feminist but I actively enjoy feminism's benefits. If I am given preference frats'-entry wise employment-wise, because I identify as a female, thank you. Yo, that's called affirmative action, right. hahaha.

    Friday, August 28, 2009

    No one claims to be fake

    I don't dislike fake people. If I know you are fake, I can totally be cool with it. You know what I dislike? The lack of your pride to uphold what you truly have. More importantly, the fact the world may not appreciate you for who you really are. Most times, it is that fact that leads fake people to the alter[/fake] egos that they create for themselves. On the other hand, I hail fake people. Like for real yo! (I'm gonna parahrase Rayo's words). It is somewhat difficult to be yourself, why make it harder by being someone else?
    Juggling two facades of ur personality isn't the easiest thing. The only aspect of fakeness that I loathe is faking what you think. For example, knowing that A is wrong and telling someone that A is right.

    Just to be clear,

    • I don't mind ladies wearing that so-called Brazilian weave. haha, everyone is entitled to being omni-beautiful.
    • I don't mind you going to the swimming pool for the sake of FaceBook
    • I don't mind ladies breathing in, so hard, cos of the much-coveted flat tummies in photos.
    • I don't mind guys taking pictures with random white chicks. yo! it's all good, if you think that is how to be diverse/exotic.
    • I don't mind your texting unnecessarily on the iPhone. Baby ko easy to acquire that gadget.
    • I don't mind your barely audible fake accent. It is your voice box and nostrils that you're straining.
    • I don't mind your carrying the faux leather bag imprinted with 'D&G' on it. yo! we all know the way to Chinatown.
    • I don't mind your being plastic. Almost everyone has got some sort of plastic, silicone, metal, silk, natural hair on/in their body.
    • Hell can freeze over and I would not care about your batting fake eyelashes like Tiny's.
    • I may not subscribe to your form of 'fakeness' but I know being fake is a lot of work.Don't just fake your opinion, that doesn't do it for me. If you want something, front moderately. Don't go out of your way to feel stupidly tech by ignoring that chat msg. If you think Sarah Palin is hot, believe it. Don't diss her cos almost everyone is. If you think Rita should have really won Koko Mansion, believe it. Some people, who talk shit about her, may not be able to form coherent msgs.
    Next time, you say some one is fake or think you are soooooo real, we've all got some fakeness going on.

    Just believe in what your 'brain' thinks, to say the least. That doesn't mean I would not rock a waist-high Spanx under that freakum dress.

    Where do you draw the line between being fake and real?
    Greasing that ashy knee?
    Wearing gray non-recommended contacts?

    PS: I recently quit blogsville gist 'co-authorship'. =/ It was fun digging out newbies tho. This next week will be hella busy cos it is Orientation period in my school and I am an Orientation Intern. oh well! This morning, I had to go to pick up some international kids from the airport. Time is just a bitchy constraint. I guess Ms.Dufa offered to take my place. Thanks miss. I'm glad! On that note, I do hope everyone is doing alright.

    Monday, August 24, 2009

    Be less foolish in a foolish town.

    We all know this is the back to school period and while everyone is shopping I'm being offered freebies jejely. I don't mean the Vibrating Phillips Sonicare Toothbrush in my bathroom case, or that sleek Fridge in my room besides other things...I am talking about the Logitech Subwoofer 5 component + 1 boom box speaker, a mere acquaintance offered me all at once. These speakers hasten my heartbeats.

    I may have a not-so-straight way of thinking. For instance, I think the compassion you have for your enemies tells me about you than the compassion that you have for your enemies(Hi! Dan Brown). Point being that I don't think that the kids, who go to my college, are rich cos of the $50, 000+ school fees but the worth of the goods that they flippantly part with at the end of the semester.

    My own [idea] freebies, few tho cos I'm thinkin' on the fly.
    • At this point, I think is a blessing. Quote me, whenever!
    • If you buy anything online like me, from face Primer to groceries and even earrings, you may want to google the name of the 'store' or 'website' and the word, coupon. eg. Google "Urban Outfitters cosmetics coupon." I swear, generous coupons are online.
    • On that note, is the headquarters of awoof.
    • The most annoying thing I buy with my money is water! I usually fill a bottle with water from home. Better still, ask for tap water with lemon. It is a rule that tap water must be filtered in restaurants (Hi! Katherine Heigl).
    • Fruits are cheaper and more hunger-quenching than snacks. College pikins in particular, take some fruits offered in the cafeteria

    I just bought these posters(3 of the 5) for my room.

    Get it girl! The innocence and the photographer are doing it for me.

    The girl in la veste rouge looks like she is in a hurry. I like to work under pressure. In other words, procastination is my bitch. I wanna go to Paris, not badly tho, thinking of Thanksgiving break.

    Decent. Black. Nude.


    Sunday, August 23, 2009

    Temptation 102

    Specie of kissing in question?

    Budapest: pussy pussy

    I live in Budapest. I have been told that she is one of the most beautiful cities. I concur. To be frank, the city gets me sometimes. The usual hello/greeting is a type of kiss. BTW, kissing in Budapest is referred to as "Pussy". I know that triggers pun-intention alerts. It's like la bise, you know French style. But in Budapest, whenever you want to greet someone, you two hug and pussy 3 times, side-to-side.

    Yankee here, there is the casual hug, which gets tighter with the attraction, no pussy involved. BTW, the last person I hugged last was Leggy. Haha, I don't get to hug many folks. But next week wud be colossal with many chests bumping into one another cos school resumes then. Wow, my DDs.

    Lemme not digress. In Naija, I dont think the pussy is included in the greeting hug. When I hug you, I lip-read 'mwah/muah/mwuahhh'

    Back to the Pussy in question!
    If such is included in the Naija mode of greeting. I don't think it will be well handled cos the hug mode already has its quirks.
    Will it be considered morally right and seductively safe?
    (Ok, I think I can invent the use of that adverb)

    In Budapest, I get somewhat confused, when I'm about to greet a Nigerian there. I think the pussy should be included and I don't wanna be forward cos I don't know the mode of greeting I should subscribe to.

    Take it easy people, I don't know what pussy means to you. If u can pussy, maybe u can greet the Hungarian way trés bien.

    Update: I am not sure Pussy is what Kiss is called in Magyar(Hungarian lang.) but the word sure sounds like pussy.

    Thursday, August 20, 2009

    [On the fly], Queer sexual orientations,

    I dislike when folks support some act because they don't want to be odd for not supporting it. Better still, they support some act because they wanna blend in.

    Why am I thinking in somewhat-written-gibberish, I mean why do some folks support queer sexual orientations because they think it is some effing hip openmindedness. That's my main point. If I decide to behave like a minion and seem not to be opinionated, oh snap! I will be doing my curious self some injustice.

    I am not sure I'm right. I am not sure anyone is even right but I can point out some, who are wrong. Btw, I am not even using anyone as a point of contact, but I have been reading stances on Homosexuality and other queer sexual orientations lately.

    • I cannot dislike/discriminate a queer-sexual, simply because I do not dislike/discriminate govt-fund embezzlers, kleptomaniacs....
    • I tolerate /interact with queer-sexual folks, as friends, co-workers ...
    • I have been to numerous LGBTQ info blahs
    • But I cannot support some queer sexual orientation because I want to be considered openminded and acknowledge some political correctness restriction.

    In addition, as a Nigerian, I know queer sexual orientations are not acceptable in [conservative] Nigeria. It then perplexes me, when Nigeria-bred folks go abroad briefly or have some queer friends, and claim that they are in support of the queer community. Please do take a rethink, if you think it is kinda cute to be queer or if you think it is hip to think queer folks are not different. I have been forced to consider that some people accept the cause, to be a step on the Westernization ladder.

    Just to be clear, I do not intend to control what people think. I am not judging cos I am yet to consider my religious obligation. If I delve into that, I would have substantial backup, that may lead me to considering the integrity of the religion. Snap! Back to the main gist.

    Sometimes, I relate being queer with hurting someone. The way queer folks have the urges to fulfill their not-straight sexual desires is the same way some folks have the urge to strangle strangers. If this comparison is unbalanced, I know both sides share something mutual: the urges must not be fulfilled. There are mere urges, conquer them. I am tempted to prescribe shock therapy.

    Plus, thanks to Sugabelly, she brought a fact, there is no natural human-body-part provision for homosexuals, to my knowledge.

    Maybe, this post justifies my '?' status on Penelope's post, for now. I am not interested in debating this topic,

    but eating my Thai Lemon Chicken with FriedRice for lunch.

    Saturday, August 15, 2009

    Dusting the lenses

    Lenses! A pair of recommended eyeglasses lenses? Contact lenses? Camera lenses? ......

    I started wearing glasses in high school. Oh my! I was glad to acquire a new 'tech' accessory but I didn't know something else came with the baggage. That something was a virtue, patience. I could only see the things within the focal length(?) of my glasses clearly. Sometimes, my frame slid down my nose bridge and I had to push it up. Sometimes, my glasses were dusty from accumulating particles on the screen. Particles, which I sometimes did not know about, blurred my vision. I could not go anywhere that required vision without my glasses, even in the dark. I felt my curious self became restricted. My glasses became a significant definition of my person .

    This year, I discovered the world of contact lenses. I felt relieved that I had left the world of a fenced vision. I felt unlimited. My curiosity became fueled to beat the . But my glasses were gone. The only inanimate object that could curb my not-so-patient-self.

    I delved into photography, in high school. I must add, as an amateur. To write a book in a chapter, I became the school's [unofficial] photographer['and something else']. Two months before graduating, I lost my camera. This year, I got another one, not with the intention of taking pictures of other people but to have a recent sassy FaceBook picture, truthfully.

    Looking back at the days, when I lived behind the lenses [whether it be the eyeglasses' or the camera's], when something, inanimate, reined my view of the world, I miss those days. I do not intend to go back to the days of myeyeglasses because my curious self can't stand that patience anymore. I lust for the days of the camera's. Not the chic take-a-picture-of-me-pregaming-with-tequila camera cos I have one of those already. I want one that can take pictures; pictures that will give more meaning to stilled moment.

    But which camera? I am not up-to-date with what is hip in photography. I need suggestions. I do not have a price range cos I am ready to save for it, if I have to. I do not mind the physical size. I only mind its ability to awaken my 'photographic spirit'. I need to dust my 'lenses'.

    Camera suggestions? or any thing that will assist me with developing my photographic ego?
    Merci à l'avance

    PS: Muyiwa, author of People in the Limelight, interviewed me, my responses can be viewed here.

    Thursday, August 13, 2009

    Accent....{self - case study}

    IMO, your accent contributes to your identity more than it does to any other thing/virtue.


    • I have a Nigerian accent, not the 'concentrated' type that can be associated with a particular tribe but the bland 'Abuja-bred' type.
    When I'm not in Nigeria, I have been confronted with the "I like your accent." statement
    and I reply with the "It's Nigerian" line.
    Sometimes, people ask "Where are you from? You have an accent", once I speak.
    I reply, "I'm Nigerian. You have an accent too. Where are you from?"

    My last response is only used to make someone aware that not because I don't speak like you means I have a strange accent. It seems the word, accent, now means a different way of speaking. Everyone has an accent, simply a manner of pronunciation. If I am to choose, I do not want adulterate my Nigerian accent and give in to the supposed American 'easy-on-the-ears' way of speaking.

    When I went home, ie Budapest, last week, I was booking a cab, with an agency in the USA, via phone and my folks told me that I was using an American accent. Just in one year! I knew it was not American cos even some Americans do not understand me at first hearing, when I speak unconsciously with my Nigerian accent. My folks probably meant my way of speaking had changed.

    After taking a self-check, I have come to the conclusion that when I'm communicating with non-Nigerian folks, I speak differently, consciously, dropping the Nigerian non-English phonetic sounds, and pronounce all words plainly. For instance, if you call my office phone, I will talk to you with a very plain English accent but I blow pidgin with my Nigerian accent, when on my mobile.

    That plain accent has been labeled "American" by my Nigerian folks and "British" by some Americans. If I am to choose any top five preferred accents to have, the American accent will not even be included. I am far from interested in the American or some European country's accent.

    This accent thing can become a 'phonetic war'. For example, when I speak French, I debate using the plain accent or Nigerian.

    I just want to be understood faster.

    Tuesday, August 11, 2009

    Repping Naija Jamz


    I am unapologetically big on Naija Pop. The 'Naija Jamz' Playlist on my iTouch is on shuffle/repeat, like right now at work. No matter where I am, ( I'm back to the US of A) I try my best to be current/critical/appreciative about what's popping in Naija. Scratch! I composed these stanzas after remixing MI and Naeto C's songs during my lunch break. Not remix per se, I added some jara and 'twisted' some lines, if you are familiar with MI's Safe, Teaser, Short Black Boy, Anoti and Naeto C's Ringtone and This is what I do.

    PS: If you don't know MI, shegay!!! Something dey do that guy


    MI is not just chilling in my belly,
    cos that is Naija Hip-Pop speaking.
    That short black boy
    makes me go loko,
    when I listen to his voco.
    Isn't that the koko?
    Claiming to be looking for diva,
    with some bakassi pennisula,
    cos he is a cute bootay squeezer
    Does he need someone's data?
    Who is cool like a freezer
    and can make you perspire,
    like you on fire.
    Look at her he-re.
    Sit on her,
    like you do on Naija's rap messiah,
    and I dare you to delete her.

    Don't push my button,
    Don't turn it on.
    Cos I ain't got no ringtone.
    Should I check up on you?
    and put it on you.
    Wetin I go do?
    This is what I do.
    Naeto Chukwu.

    My Bonus/Jara/Fisi.

    Effing Amber posing for Complex

    Je t'embrasse