Prepared and preserved In Nigeria, seasoned in Hungary, boiled in the USA and currently simmering in the UK. Call me a nomadic soul child?
"I have no unique talent, I am only passionately curious" - Bros Einstein
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Case in Point....Friends
Law 36: Disdain Things you cannot have.....
Back in Naija, I had many friends. I went to a boarding school, and I was like one of the 'majority'. I am tempted to compare getting friends then with shopping for clothes in Teju-Osho market. Some friends are on sale, some are in bend-down select, some are meant for you cos they fit you perfectly and some are difficult to get cos you have to bargain for you to come to terms. I was the girl that had many friends but no girlfriend wanted to become committed simply because I could go out of the gf r/ship and get new buddies asap even though I am not a huge socialite. Although, I never had such intentions. At the same time, I am not into the BFF thing like marrying a fellow girlfriend on facebook. If you're my friend, you will know. I can discuss the cute guy's torso with you but I may not kiss you in photos, when we go out and have a good time. I don't know if this ironic, but most convos with my close buddies start with insults.
Yinkuslolo: Cow! what have you been milking?
It's all love. Sadly, most of these close friends are in Nigeria.Sometimes, I feel like importing my friends from Nigeria. We don't really do the "I miss you" thing cos we are cocky like that.
Expectedly, when I came to Yankee, I had to start making friends from scratch. I kinda liked the process initially but I think I lost, even though I had so many acquaintances. Surprisingly, It came to a point, when I had to look for buddies for a Friday night. Clearer picture: There are only two Nigerians per se in my school. The kind of friends, I like, were lacking in my school. Maybe, I have not just found them. Maybe Yinkuslolo has a problem but it is definitely not social ineptitude. I have friends, who call me to come have a good time. But it is that 'good time' that I am not chill with.
I kind of have standards for a friend, if I am to decide. My kind of friends should simply be out-going, know what to say about the 'boys' and share a mutual sense of humor. Most importantly, you have to be of intellectual benefit. I don't really care about your being uber-smart or "Chanel Iman"-beautiful. Most times, other virtues matter the most.
Yinkuslolo likes to go out sober and not-high. Better still, I am too concerned about the unconsciousness of my actions, if I get drunk. Some of my college friends like to get high or wasted before going out. Neither do I have the patience to wait nor appreciate the somewhat-awkward moment as I watched them smoke a joint last Friday. Now I ask myself, should we really be friends? What positivity has the friendship brought about?
With regards to the above, I don't like pre-gaming with beer. But you can tease me with red wine and I am good to roll. Unfortunately, college kids do six-packs and I don't wanna feel too cool by bringing my own wine errytime, So, I just chill with the cranberry juice mixer.
I will not deceive myself. I prefer black friends. We just have more things to talk about. Whether it be the preferred party style or taste in guys. Most of my friends are black anyway though I have friends of random ethnicities. Jokes: A buddy told me that I now think like blonds cos I have too many non-black friends, according to my tagged facebook pictures.
One of my close friends last year, left the school and the friendship gradually ran its course before that. I realised that I really value friendships but not everyone gets my way of showing it. After that, I became friends with the 'cool' kids, who wanted to be friends with me.
This sophomore year, I have decided to be myself, to be comfortable in my social skin. Make new friends. Keep the old ones I like. Disdain the ones that prove too tough to keep.
Sometimes, you want some people to be your friends but they already have theirs. You don't need to compete with the other group of friends. Because your true friends will find you.
PS: Everybody is dropping bombs now oh.
Naeto-C has dropped the Ako mi ti Poju video. First thing that struck was the white chick. I don't have the energy to care.
Banky W also dropped the Strong Ting video. Twas a bomber. First thing that struck was the fact that the vid was shot in SA. Could it not have been shot in Naija? You may be thinking, 'the end justifies the means', I do too
And guess what? Lady effing Gaga dropped the Paparazzi video. Damn, my lovable bitch brought it on as expected. Mind you. That's some X-rates video.
PPS: Today was the first day of classes, and you already know who dozed off during the latter half of her first class this semester. That's like shet effing mehn! I am so embarrassed about my unexpected lackadaisical attitude. I rarely doze off in class and I never miss class except there is some serious kini. I had better get it together this semester.