Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Case in Point....Friends

Law 36: Disdain Things you cannot have.....

Back in Naija, I had many friends. I went to a boarding school, and I was like one of the 'majority'. I am tempted to compare getting friends then with shopping for clothes in Teju-Osho market. Some friends are on sale, some are in bend-down select, some are meant for you cos they fit you perfectly and some are difficult to get cos you have to bargain for you to come to terms. I was the girl that had many friends but no girlfriend wanted to become committed simply because I could go out of the gf r/ship and get new buddies asap even though I am not a huge socialite. Although, I never had such intentions. At the same time, I am not into the BFF thing like marrying a fellow girlfriend on facebook. If you're my friend, you will know. I can discuss the cute guy's torso with you but I may not kiss you in photos, when we go out and have a good time. I don't know if this ironic, but most convos with my close buddies start with insults.
For example,
Friend: Idiot!
Yinkuslolo: Cow! what have you been milking?
It's all love. Sadly, most of these close friends are in Nigeria.Sometimes, I feel like importing my friends from Nigeria. We don't really do the "I miss you" thing cos we are cocky like that.

Expectedly, when I came to Yankee, I had to start making friends from scratch. I kinda liked the process initially but I think I lost, even though I had so many acquaintances. Surprisingly, It came to a point, when I had to look for buddies for a Friday night. Clearer picture: There are only two Nigerians per se in my school. The kind of friends, I like, were lacking in my school. Maybe, I have not just found them. Maybe Yinkuslolo has a problem but it is definitely not social ineptitude. I have friends, who call me to come have a good time. But it is that 'good time' that I am not chill with.
  • I kind of have standards for a friend, if I am to decide. My kind of friends should simply be out-going, know what to say about the 'boys' and share a mutual sense of humor. Most importantly, you have to be of intellectual benefit. I don't really care about your being uber-smart or "Chanel Iman"-beautiful. Most times, other virtues matter the most.
  • Yinkuslolo likes to go out sober and not-high. Better still, I am too concerned about the unconsciousness of my actions, if I get drunk. Some of my college friends like to get high or wasted before going out. Neither do I have the patience to wait nor appreciate the somewhat-awkward moment as I watched them smoke a joint last Friday. Now I ask myself, should we really be friends? What positivity has the friendship brought about?
  • With regards to the above, I don't like pre-gaming with beer. But you can tease me with red wine and I am good to roll. Unfortunately, college kids do six-packs and I don't wanna feel too cool by bringing my own wine errytime, So, I just chill with the cranberry juice mixer.
  • I will not deceive myself. I prefer black friends. We just have more things to talk about. Whether it be the preferred party style or taste in guys. Most of my friends are black anyway though I have friends of random ethnicities. Jokes: A buddy told me that I now think like blonds cos I have too many non-black friends, according to my tagged facebook pictures.
One of my close friends last year, left the school and the friendship gradually ran its course before that. I realised that I really value friendships but not everyone gets my way of showing it. After that, I became friends with the 'cool' kids, who wanted to be friends with me.

This sophomore year, I have decided to be myself, to be comfortable in my social skin. Make new friends. Keep the old ones I like. Disdain the ones that prove too tough to keep.

Sometimes, you want some people to be your friends but they already have theirs. You don't need to compete with the other group of friends. Because your true friends will find you.

PS: Everybody is dropping bombs now oh.
  1. Naeto-C has dropped the Ako mi ti Poju video. First thing that struck was the white chick. I don't have the energy to care.
  2. Banky W also dropped the Strong Ting video. Twas a bomber. First thing that struck was the fact that the vid was shot in SA. Could it not have been shot in Naija? You may be thinking, 'the end justifies the means', I do too
  3. And guess what? Lady effing Gaga dropped the Paparazzi video. Damn, my lovable bitch brought it on as expected. Mind you. That's some X-rates video.

PPS: Today was the first day of classes, and you already know who dozed off during the latter half of her first class this semester. That's like shet effing mehn! I am so embarrassed about my unexpected lackadaisical attitude. I rarely doze off in class and I never miss class except there is some serious kini. I had better get it together this semester.


Nice Anon said...

That's the thing about moving to a new place. You gotta make new friends and it ain't easy at all. Goodluck with school this semester

TayneMent said...

I am SO in love with that Paparazzi video cuz I think it was so out the box and genius. Especially the part when she was supposed to be in crutches and a neck brace and the whole mickey mouse deal at the end. I dunno if everyone sees it but I LOVE it.

as per Banky video. From what he said in an interview : The video wasn't shot in Naija cuz there is a lot of red tape involved and people aren't as cooperative as opposed to South Africa.

UnderCover07 said...

*sigh* Story of my life. Except in my case I'll kiss my friends on d cheeks and hugs, but in general its just hard making friends cos of the things u listed.

Oh well e go better!

Will go n check out Naeto C's vid!

Anonymous said...

Love Banky's new vid.

You sound a bit like me, I'm not the mushy sorta friend either.

miss.fab said...

Never really got the "marrying your friend" thing on Facebook either. To each their own I guess.

It's always amusing to me when I hear about parties at predominantly white schools. My school is predominantly Black, and Black people don't pre-game with beer... Well not the ones I know at least. Lol.

NaijaBabe said...

On point!!!

I hate the whole pre party drinks in someones house, or kitchen )for those in uni halls)...I'm like seriously? Iget high on oxygen mehn.

I loved strong ting when I heard it...the video is quite nice.

Yemi David said...

When you move,you tend to lose most of your old frnds.. .but its abt keeping in touch n making new "friends" as in real ones o!...I soo love lady gaga.. she is jst one woman wu doesn't give a shit mehn..
goodluck with skool,My classes starts in 48hrs..
LMAO@ "Cow! what have you been milking?"
Thats my new line now..lol

Bubbles said...

the black/latino people in my school
pre-game with beer, wine, tequila, EVERYTHING drinkable lol

I still don't have close friends here in yankee
I just have friends.
I think I need to start making new ones *smh*

Lady X said...

I totally get you on the friend thing. I'd rather just be alone most times or with my sister cuz she's reliable.

Rosie said...

Yinkus...it was hard for me to make friends here too. It is just that there are social and cultural attitudes that are hard to adjust to. Norms are just too weird here (except if you leave in Baltimore or Houston where there are plenty of naija people).

Sweetnothin' said...

I'm so loving that paparazzi video....

Anonymous said...

'Your true friends will find you' really? What happened to you going to meet people

Myne Whitman said...

Friends are hard to make But I usually don't over think it like you I believe they will come. Good luck with classes, no more sleeping OK? LOL

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

did you attend QC?

histreasure said...

i'm not so good at making friends, maybe i get to be too selective but i know that i've close friends who are like sisters to me, none of them is in the town with me right now but they remain my bestest, dependable, real no fronting babes..

and because i always look for the real deal ( tho i got 'them friends') i don't have many now..and i'm cool..

ociajan said...

tHE paparazzi video has been out a long tym now...really.saw it about 3months ago on TV!
n i really dont like the whole culture fing in Banky's vid...like eventho twas done in S.A...Y is it soo old school American??
n Friends...ish! im nt much of the mushy one buh i ges i ve lrnt to b...making new friends aint dt easy esp wen u stick to the definition of 'friends'n yeh--one of my fave quotes...quote me--There are no best friends.
Ako mi ti poju..loving the cute boi...on the wyt gurl steez..im indifferent---buh twd be bettr wid a black Ng chick--k myb im nt dt indifferent...buh d vid luks al south african-ish..asin d quality!its nyc tho...nice post btw n i stalk u.

Yinkuslolo said...

thanx for the comments folks

@taynement:so,, that's some justification

@miss.fab: it's like a diff scene on white-dominated campuses.

@rosie: what part of yankee are u in?

@ttlolla: u meet pple but u dont turn them to friends like u're on some auto-tune. they will do it demselves,
PS: Myne's comment below

@david: nope, no QC

@ociajan: for real yo! i just saw the paparazzi vid yday. slacking huh?

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

Don't like that Banky W's video at all!!!
It just did not pull me along, even though i like the song.

My issue with them is not the fact they all go to SA but must they use white chicks?

I have recently been casted a racist because I prefer blacks to white friends. We just seem to understand each other.

Penelope...! said...

I feel u yinkuslolo! Esp on that wanting to be frends with pple dat alredy have dier frends P. lol

Anyhoos first day of skul today n i didnt get enuf sleep.


Ms. 'dufa said...

I have a friend like that. We start and end every conversation with insults but we love it like that.

What business does white girl with "Ako mi ti poju"? Seriously!

Banky's Video is hot. Most of them get it done in S.A. It is now a trend.

GaGa said...

yay....all my friends start our convos wiv insults...lol..its fun