Friday, August 28, 2009

No one claims to be fake

I don't dislike fake people. If I know you are fake, I can totally be cool with it. You know what I dislike? The lack of your pride to uphold what you truly have. More importantly, the fact the world may not appreciate you for who you really are. Most times, it is that fact that leads fake people to the alter[/fake] egos that they create for themselves. On the other hand, I hail fake people. Like for real yo! (I'm gonna parahrase Rayo's words). It is somewhat difficult to be yourself, why make it harder by being someone else?
Juggling two facades of ur personality isn't the easiest thing. The only aspect of fakeness that I loathe is faking what you think. For example, knowing that A is wrong and telling someone that A is right.

Just to be clear,

  • I don't mind ladies wearing that so-called Brazilian weave. haha, everyone is entitled to being omni-beautiful.
  • I don't mind you going to the swimming pool for the sake of FaceBook
  • I don't mind ladies breathing in, so hard, cos of the much-coveted flat tummies in photos.
  • I don't mind guys taking pictures with random white chicks. yo! it's all good, if you think that is how to be diverse/exotic.
  • I don't mind your texting unnecessarily on the iPhone. Baby ko easy to acquire that gadget.
  • I don't mind your barely audible fake accent. It is your voice box and nostrils that you're straining.
  • I don't mind your carrying the faux leather bag imprinted with 'D&G' on it. yo! we all know the way to Chinatown.
  • I don't mind your being plastic. Almost everyone has got some sort of plastic, silicone, metal, silk, natural hair on/in their body.
  • Hell can freeze over and I would not care about your batting fake eyelashes like Tiny's.
  • I may not subscribe to your form of 'fakeness' but I know being fake is a lot of work.Don't just fake your opinion, that doesn't do it for me. If you want something, front moderately. Don't go out of your way to feel stupidly tech by ignoring that chat msg. If you think Sarah Palin is hot, believe it. Don't diss her cos almost everyone is. If you think Rita should have really won Koko Mansion, believe it. Some people, who talk shit about her, may not be able to form coherent msgs.
Next time, you say some one is fake or think you are soooooo real, we've all got some fakeness going on.

Just believe in what your 'brain' thinks, to say the least. That doesn't mean I would not rock a waist-high Spanx under that freakum dress.

Where do you draw the line between being fake and real?
Greasing that ashy knee?
Wearing gray non-recommended contacts?

PS: I recently quit blogsville gist 'co-authorship'. =/ It was fun digging out newbies tho. This next week will be hella busy cos it is Orientation period in my school and I am an Orientation Intern. oh well! This morning, I had to go to pick up some international kids from the airport. Time is just a bitchy constraint. I guess Ms.Dufa offered to take my place. Thanks miss. I'm glad! On that note, I do hope everyone is doing alright.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Be less foolish in a foolish town.

We all know this is the back to school period and while everyone is shopping I'm being offered freebies jejely. I don't mean the Vibrating Phillips Sonicare Toothbrush in my bathroom case, or that sleek Fridge in my room besides other things...I am talking about the Logitech Subwoofer 5 component + 1 boom box speaker, a mere acquaintance offered me all at once. These speakers hasten my heartbeats.

I may have a not-so-straight way of thinking. For instance, I think the compassion you have for your enemies tells me about you than the compassion that you have for your enemies(Hi! Dan Brown). Point being that I don't think that the kids, who go to my college, are rich cos of the $50, 000+ school fees but the worth of the goods that they flippantly part with at the end of the semester.

My own [idea] freebies, few tho cos I'm thinkin' on the fly.
  • At this point, I think is a blessing. Quote me, whenever!
  • If you buy anything online like me, from face Primer to groceries and even earrings, you may want to google the name of the 'store' or 'website' and the word, coupon. eg. Google "Urban Outfitters cosmetics coupon." I swear, generous coupons are online.
  • On that note, is the headquarters of awoof.
  • The most annoying thing I buy with my money is water! I usually fill a bottle with water from home. Better still, ask for tap water with lemon. It is a rule that tap water must be filtered in restaurants (Hi! Katherine Heigl).
  • Fruits are cheaper and more hunger-quenching than snacks. College pikins in particular, take some fruits offered in the cafeteria

I just bought these posters(3 of the 5) for my room.

Get it girl! The innocence and the photographer are doing it for me.

The girl in la veste rouge looks like she is in a hurry. I like to work under pressure. In other words, procastination is my bitch. I wanna go to Paris, not badly tho, thinking of Thanksgiving break.

Decent. Black. Nude.


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Temptation 102

Specie of kissing in question?

Budapest: pussy pussy

I live in Budapest. I have been told that she is one of the most beautiful cities. I concur. To be frank, the city gets me sometimes. The usual hello/greeting is a type of kiss. BTW, kissing in Budapest is referred to as "Pussy". I know that triggers pun-intention alerts. It's like la bise, you know French style. But in Budapest, whenever you want to greet someone, you two hug and pussy 3 times, side-to-side.

Yankee here, there is the casual hug, which gets tighter with the attraction, no pussy involved. BTW, the last person I hugged last was Leggy. Haha, I don't get to hug many folks. But next week wud be colossal with many chests bumping into one another cos school resumes then. Wow, my DDs.

Lemme not digress. In Naija, I dont think the pussy is included in the greeting hug. When I hug you, I lip-read 'mwah/muah/mwuahhh'

Back to the Pussy in question!
If such is included in the Naija mode of greeting. I don't think it will be well handled cos the hug mode already has its quirks.
Will it be considered morally right and seductively safe?
(Ok, I think I can invent the use of that adverb)

In Budapest, I get somewhat confused, when I'm about to greet a Nigerian there. I think the pussy should be included and I don't wanna be forward cos I don't know the mode of greeting I should subscribe to.

Take it easy people, I don't know what pussy means to you. If u can pussy, maybe u can greet the Hungarian way trés bien.

Update: I am not sure Pussy is what Kiss is called in Magyar(Hungarian lang.) but the word sure sounds like pussy.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

[On the fly], Queer sexual orientations,

I dislike when folks support some act because they don't want to be odd for not supporting it. Better still, they support some act because they wanna blend in.

Why am I thinking in somewhat-written-gibberish, I mean why do some folks support queer sexual orientations because they think it is some effing hip openmindedness. That's my main point. If I decide to behave like a minion and seem not to be opinionated, oh snap! I will be doing my curious self some injustice.

I am not sure I'm right. I am not sure anyone is even right but I can point out some, who are wrong. Btw, I am not even using anyone as a point of contact, but I have been reading stances on Homosexuality and other queer sexual orientations lately.

  • I cannot dislike/discriminate a queer-sexual, simply because I do not dislike/discriminate govt-fund embezzlers, kleptomaniacs....
  • I tolerate /interact with queer-sexual folks, as friends, co-workers ...
  • I have been to numerous LGBTQ info blahs
  • But I cannot support some queer sexual orientation because I want to be considered openminded and acknowledge some political correctness restriction.

In addition, as a Nigerian, I know queer sexual orientations are not acceptable in [conservative] Nigeria. It then perplexes me, when Nigeria-bred folks go abroad briefly or have some queer friends, and claim that they are in support of the queer community. Please do take a rethink, if you think it is kinda cute to be queer or if you think it is hip to think queer folks are not different. I have been forced to consider that some people accept the cause, to be a step on the Westernization ladder.

Just to be clear, I do not intend to control what people think. I am not judging cos I am yet to consider my religious obligation. If I delve into that, I would have substantial backup, that may lead me to considering the integrity of the religion. Snap! Back to the main gist.

Sometimes, I relate being queer with hurting someone. The way queer folks have the urges to fulfill their not-straight sexual desires is the same way some folks have the urge to strangle strangers. If this comparison is unbalanced, I know both sides share something mutual: the urges must not be fulfilled. There are mere urges, conquer them. I am tempted to prescribe shock therapy.

Plus, thanks to Sugabelly, she brought a fact, there is no natural human-body-part provision for homosexuals, to my knowledge.

Maybe, this post justifies my '?' status on Penelope's post, for now. I am not interested in debating this topic,

but eating my Thai Lemon Chicken with FriedRice for lunch.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Dusting the lenses

Lenses! A pair of recommended eyeglasses lenses? Contact lenses? Camera lenses? ......

I started wearing glasses in high school. Oh my! I was glad to acquire a new 'tech' accessory but I didn't know something else came with the baggage. That something was a virtue, patience. I could only see the things within the focal length(?) of my glasses clearly. Sometimes, my frame slid down my nose bridge and I had to push it up. Sometimes, my glasses were dusty from accumulating particles on the screen. Particles, which I sometimes did not know about, blurred my vision. I could not go anywhere that required vision without my glasses, even in the dark. I felt my curious self became restricted. My glasses became a significant definition of my person .

This year, I discovered the world of contact lenses. I felt relieved that I had left the world of a fenced vision. I felt unlimited. My curiosity became fueled to beat the . But my glasses were gone. The only inanimate object that could curb my not-so-patient-self.

I delved into photography, in high school. I must add, as an amateur. To write a book in a chapter, I became the school's [unofficial] photographer['and something else']. Two months before graduating, I lost my camera. This year, I got another one, not with the intention of taking pictures of other people but to have a recent sassy FaceBook picture, truthfully.

Looking back at the days, when I lived behind the lenses [whether it be the eyeglasses' or the camera's], when something, inanimate, reined my view of the world, I miss those days. I do not intend to go back to the days of myeyeglasses because my curious self can't stand that patience anymore. I lust for the days of the camera's. Not the chic take-a-picture-of-me-pregaming-with-tequila camera cos I have one of those already. I want one that can take pictures; pictures that will give more meaning to stilled moment.

But which camera? I am not up-to-date with what is hip in photography. I need suggestions. I do not have a price range cos I am ready to save for it, if I have to. I do not mind the physical size. I only mind its ability to awaken my 'photographic spirit'. I need to dust my 'lenses'.

Camera suggestions? or any thing that will assist me with developing my photographic ego?
Merci à l'avance

PS: Muyiwa, author of People in the Limelight, interviewed me, my responses can be viewed here.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Accent....{self - case study}

IMO, your accent contributes to your identity more than it does to any other thing/virtue.


  • I have a Nigerian accent, not the 'concentrated' type that can be associated with a particular tribe but the bland 'Abuja-bred' type.
When I'm not in Nigeria, I have been confronted with the "I like your accent." statement
and I reply with the "It's Nigerian" line.
Sometimes, people ask "Where are you from? You have an accent", once I speak.
I reply, "I'm Nigerian. You have an accent too. Where are you from?"

My last response is only used to make someone aware that not because I don't speak like you means I have a strange accent. It seems the word, accent, now means a different way of speaking. Everyone has an accent, simply a manner of pronunciation. If I am to choose, I do not want adulterate my Nigerian accent and give in to the supposed American 'easy-on-the-ears' way of speaking.

When I went home, ie Budapest, last week, I was booking a cab, with an agency in the USA, via phone and my folks told me that I was using an American accent. Just in one year! I knew it was not American cos even some Americans do not understand me at first hearing, when I speak unconsciously with my Nigerian accent. My folks probably meant my way of speaking had changed.

After taking a self-check, I have come to the conclusion that when I'm communicating with non-Nigerian folks, I speak differently, consciously, dropping the Nigerian non-English phonetic sounds, and pronounce all words plainly. For instance, if you call my office phone, I will talk to you with a very plain English accent but I blow pidgin with my Nigerian accent, when on my mobile.

That plain accent has been labeled "American" by my Nigerian folks and "British" by some Americans. If I am to choose any top five preferred accents to have, the American accent will not even be included. I am far from interested in the American or some European country's accent.

This accent thing can become a 'phonetic war'. For example, when I speak French, I debate using the plain accent or Nigerian.

I just want to be understood faster.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Repping Naija Jamz


I am unapologetically big on Naija Pop. The 'Naija Jamz' Playlist on my iTouch is on shuffle/repeat, like right now at work. No matter where I am, ( I'm back to the US of A) I try my best to be current/critical/appreciative about what's popping in Naija. Scratch! I composed these stanzas after remixing MI and Naeto C's songs during my lunch break. Not remix per se, I added some jara and 'twisted' some lines, if you are familiar with MI's Safe, Teaser, Short Black Boy, Anoti and Naeto C's Ringtone and This is what I do.

PS: If you don't know MI, shegay!!! Something dey do that guy


MI is not just chilling in my belly,
cos that is Naija Hip-Pop speaking.
That short black boy
makes me go loko,
when I listen to his voco.
Isn't that the koko?
Claiming to be looking for diva,
with some bakassi pennisula,
cos he is a cute bootay squeezer
Does he need someone's data?
Who is cool like a freezer
and can make you perspire,
like you on fire.
Look at her he-re.
Sit on her,
like you do on Naija's rap messiah,
and I dare you to delete her.

Don't push my button,
Don't turn it on.
Cos I ain't got no ringtone.
Should I check up on you?
and put it on you.
Wetin I go do?
This is what I do.
Naeto Chukwu.

My Bonus/Jara/Fisi.

Effing Amber posing for Complex

Je t'embrasse

Sunday, August 9, 2009

What will you think of a girl

eating sushi with chopsticks and
browsing on a pink-covered(?) laptop,
in the middle of the eating area of the lounge in a huge terminal?

Keep in my mind that this girl is shy and has a somewhat huge nappy hair-do, that people stare at, without pretense.

Ok! The girl is Yinkuslolo, me. The Chinese woman sitting across me asked where I got my sushi from and I told her I bought it yesterday, not in this airport. Her half-Chinese daughter is saddened by this news because she wants sushi. The woman looks at my laptop, hair, sushi, chopsticks laid by the side and says,
"This tells me a lot about you."

I wonder what that meant to her, what do you think?
To describe further, I have a smoothie, a carry-on bag, 'neck-pillow' and nothing else striking other than my dark skin.

But I can't figure out what her statement means. Oh well, she just left.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I just read Bubbles' most recent post.

A quote, that I am reacting to,
"Yesterday I went to the mall and the cab driver was a Nigerian. I felt very heartbroken... I mean come on.! It is obvious that he left Nigeria to find a better life in America but A TAXI DRIVER!! I can't seem to get my head around it." -Bubbles.

Many immigrants come to supposed greener pastures, the likes of the US of A, to find a better life. I bet that a majority of those immigrants do get a better life, and a better one for their folks that remain in their home countries.

As a cab driver, that guy makes money, like serious Dees. Even if the fare goes to the company directly first. I know cos I use cabs. My last cab-drive cost 25 Euros for a 30min ride, and the guys was still tipped . I am sure that guy[/cab driver] can still use his [meagre, if it is] salary to fend for his fam in Nigeria. He may not be able to do this in Nigeria, where he may be the driver of some Oga or do kabu-kabu business. Worst still, he may be unemployed. How far can his job/no-job earnings, if he remained in Nigeria, take him and his family?

My main reaction is with regards to the 'taxi driver'. That is a job, like a 'waiter', 'post office cashier', 'accountant', 'babysitter', 'stay at home dad' etc. The way some folks perceive/regard some jobs is demeaning. I understand the fact that people view certain jobs differently, mostly because of the mentality of the folks of a particularly region/country blah blah. As a Nigerian, who culturally identifies herself as Nigerian, I know the job titles, 'waitress', 'nanny', 'taxi driver', are not even considered/'discuss-able' by folks in the Nigerian middle-class. But as a Yankee student and someone who resides in Europe, I know those jobs are just like any other. It's the dignity, with which the job holder carries his/her self that matters, and the pay you derive from it that justifies your job.

The 'taxi driver' is a job. It may not be as desirable as 'the lawyer' but it is still a job. As a student, I work during the school year. I will label my job as 'the processor.' Well, it is a job, which I can do in Nigeria 'prestigiously' but I know some students, who are from the Nigerian middle/high class and still work in the cafeteria, as 'cleaners/servers/cooks' in their Yankee schools. Some Nigerian come to Yankee to work in seniors' nursing homes. They go to Nigeria and build houses with thier pay. My point with these students/Nigerians' examples is why they can't declare their jobs confidently, when they go back to their home countries.

'come on!' It's the job that provided that extra money for you to get into that club on April 20, paid for the dinner on that special date or paid your child's school fees back home. Why can't some people hold their heads up high and stand for what they do? or maybe it is because of the way you look at people, who have such jobs in Nigeria/whatever-your-home-country-is.

In addition, these jobs, which may not be as desirable as others, have to be done by someone. Working is a survival instinct. Whatever provides your rent/food is your armour.

Je t'embrasse

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I dey house

and event no dey finish. I am quite used to 10 hrs + flight. But there was some eff-up in my system and I barfed up during my second flight. Damn! I was kinda happy. Like, I have barfed up less than 5 times in life. That may be weird tho. I don't know how some folks force themselves to recurgitate, them try.

As for my surprise home visit, my mumcee's face was friggin' classic plus my Afro is doing some wonders. Fam-bonding can never be overrated. It feels good, when your mum tells you to make Eba and Okro for dinner and you grumble tho u still do ur best to make the soup as tasty as ever. Mumcee called me old-fashioned but now that I'm here with my afro. She was using style to beg me not to show up at her office with my hair-do. I don't blame her cos I have been creating some stare-traffic, anywhere I go. One photographer even booked me for a photoshoot tomorrow lol. I will go sha. Europeans can look oh.

The part of Europe, where I live, has two competitve trends: Chain-smoking and PDA(Public Display of Affection). Chain-smoking is an over-flogged issue but PDA chai. You will sit in a tram innocently and may be uncomfortable to look in any direction cos there is always a couple doing some mushy stuff. I am not against PDAs but I have a preferred limit: e.g peck and smile. But living here has made used to seeing a couple neck, peck, smooch......some folks may call that making out sef. I don't think that is morally right cos even younger teens do such. You don't want your kid to see a guy groping his babe's akara-sized butt. Well, it's better to love than hate, right?

Mehn! my own summer has started to kick off for real. U no wan try European gbedu lol. This my 3mth internship wants to take the better part of me. But na lie!

On that note, bloggin', per se, resumes next week cos there are 5 pple, 5 laptops and only one ethernet cable in my house. Thus, only one person can browse at a time. Imagine 5 grown-ups targeting one ethernet cable lol. Mad fun, I swear. It's better than having 5 cables and no action. Funny stuff is why no one wants to even take time to buy extra cables.