I may go in oh-Ten, let me start with Milano

Happy New Year. Mine started on a blah note with expected annoying grades, the mum and me squabble, a fierce stomach upset. It’s gone uphill since then. I got a new blog layout. so, you're not on a wrong page.

unto better shit, i’ve been in Milano for a couple of days and the mum is sleeping away beside me zzzZZZ. It’s cool here. Not the I-will-like-to-live-here effect but I’ll-def-like-to-pass-thru-here again. The city so far has its posh side and razz realness. Its in fucking Italia anyway. sadly, the mediocre hotel I’m lodged at has a krackhead internet service. for 21st century’s sake, why shud the internet only open facebook and google for someone? I had to go to a cyber cafe to check up some stuff, for example my personal school email for 4.50 euros per hr, ie is like 6 dollars. i saved some 15 mins for tomorrow lol. Considering the fact that I understand some French and I’m colonized by some pale folk fluent in English, I’ve been able to navigate this perfecto-panini-aqua world, duh?  My mum is still learning how to say ‘ciao’. pronounced ‘cha-wu’

Today, I went to Duomo, a tourist/commercial/massive center in Milano and I went to designer shops that I’ve only seen their products in Vogue, from Burberry’s to Louis Vuitton’s So, mum wanted to buy a bag and told a saleslady to keep it for her while we go check out something in another booth. before 10 mins, we came back and the bag was sold. My mum vexed but calmly pulled the race card. Shit was real lol. but now that i think of it, I had not seen any black in that huge convoluted mall. She ended up buying 3 bags. I don’t even know why. haha, she def wanted to show that African folks cop good stuffs too. I hope that was not her pt tho. I really wanted to enter a Louboutin shop and just ogle those pumps. Maybe if I went to the 4th floor. By the way, my fave shop for this break is Mango, used to be Zara. I can def walk in there confidently and buy something worth my kudi. Things are def expensive in Milano but if you know where to look, you’ll get some very good stuffs at affordable price. And folks here can druss, they can driss, they can dress!

In terms of demographics, Milano is diverse with black folks even coming up on their news lol and pple speaking diff languages around you. Y’all may not know that when I’m home in Budapest, I may not see any other black folk when I go out with even public transport. That place is effing transparent with only white folk. oh! mum just woke up. earlier today, I told her that Lagos may look like Milano in 2050 and she begged to differ cos some ridiculous ish cannot be undone in Gidi. We have to step up our game in Naija, for reals.

I was also in Rome for a few hrs and visited the Vatican City. In a few days, I’m off to Paris solo. I know someone thinks that  Imma be on some Illuminati tracking tour soon. btw, why is jay Z getting pple on mad nerves with that his new vid.

Yup I’m on some real waka-dugbe before the craze of college starts.
So, on that note oh-Ten is gonna be a good year and I hope this post is actually published. Else, this hotel’s internet is racist selective.

in this year, I want to

• Be successful with my undisclosed career project
  
• Be productive with my photography-ego
  
• Be more careful with my belongings
  
• Find good balls
  
• Use more water

Je t’embarasse

Two huge Dilemmas

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I plan my breaks, as far as three months ahead. Honestly, it's just because of flight costs.

But I have been debating where to spend my spring break. Seriously, I'm confused.

I already planned to go to Naija this December, cos Mumcee will be there too. Also, I get to see my friends and folks, I have missed them. I get to retain my sanity. Naija is really home to me.

But my mum can't make it again, she is staying home in Budapest. I really want to see her. Else, this long-distance mother-daughter relationship will loose its elasticity. I have only been home for 3 weeks, this year.

I can't go to both places. So I have to decide.

Pros of going to Naija:

• I get to see friends and folks.
• I will enjoy the tropical weather and dodge this punishment, called winter.
• I will possibly go on a mini West-African tour.

Cons:

• I will lose $2000+ of my money to the cheapest air service that I can find to spend just 3 weeks.
• I will not see the most important, yet some-what absent, person in my life.

Pros of going home, Budapest:

• I'll see the infamous MumCee
• I will def go on a mini-European tour, if I can stay warm. I had better be warm ni.
• By hook, crook, or book, I will book a cheap flight. Even if I have to stop over in the north pole.

Cons:

• I will not see my friends, almost 2yrs now. I feel different from them.
• I will die of cold. No kidding, Yankee is cold, but Hungary is freezing yo. Clear slippery ice is not the best thing to be walked upon

To be honest, runsing three continents is no joke, not even funny. Don't do it, the fun ends after the first round-about trip.

Where should I go?

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My hair!!!

I can't maintain my real hair. It's treated but due for relaxing. I see no point in paying someone $60 to do my hair, when I will still get a weave. Ajebo girls in my school know nada about making one's hair. Now, my hair is short, breaking, somewhat-unkempt and covered with my lace-front wig. When the winter comes, it will just break off totally.

Thus, I want to take the big chop this weekend and go natural. I may not even grow it out, just keep it low. The low-cut hair-do is low maintenance but I prefer the long hair length. I will still be wearing my orisirisi hair extensions/wigs/weaves.

I am not yet into the empowerment thing, when you take the big chop and go natural or otherwise.

I want to do it for the financial benefit and time-saving advantage.

The hair is not even growing so I will let it go.

So, what am I still waiting for? Damn, I don't wanna remember what I looked like when I was on low-cut, back in high school. not the best of my looks. What if I have to bare my real hair and not like my cut. Well, I am too occupied to enhance my facial looks and wear screaming jewelry for the sake of a low-cut.

This hair?

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Anyway, I have to finalise my winter break itinerary before I end up staying in Yankee, my loss.

I'm off to work. Oh! This is my first time at my second job, I'm an Events' Usher.

I still want to take bar-tending classes sometime though.

Ignore typos and any mistakes as usual, Yinkuslolo dislikes proof-reading.

Je t'embarasse.

"I'm a Fly-gerian..."

If u're current on bville you wud have heard that I met Kemberly, for like 30 secs, at the Independence Day parade in NY. Unknown to me, Original Mgbeke was there too but I dint meet her tho.

Wow, I'm not gonna go into details about the parade. I ran into other people too. Mehn! Seeing so many Nigerian just felt strange. Bad cue! It's high I paid Naija a visit.

I got a legit flag too, a Naija groupie sticker, 2 shirts, fried snails and some yeye Palmwine.

Below are a few pictures of the bunch.

some damn snails, my fave seafood. I dint even care about the potential james and john in it. I took it home, cleaned and ate. yum!

These over-revealing attires. Trust me, they didn't look sexy, their supposed-goal.

I was standing behind the stage, the best angle that i could get. Thus, my pix position. Towards the ned of the show, my friends and I realised that we must have been caught on tape cos we were close to the stage with the cameras across. You can't eat your cake and have it huh?

These were some Calabar dancers. Good work!I don't know what ethnicity this is, but they did their thing too.
Later that night, I dint go to the after-party party for many reasons but mostly because I wanted to chill with my friend, who graded from my uni last year. Newyorkers! I give them the upper hand. We were out like 12:30am and the streets were as busy as Oshodi on Friday afternoon. I may be generalising but the only part of NewYork that end up going to errytime is Manhattan. That place is damn busy. The nocturnal rendez-vous are poppin' tho.

This guy below was dressed up as batman. You can pay him 2 bucks and take a pic with him. I am talking business on the streets at 1:00am here. He carried me but I dont have that pic on here. The guy, sorry Batman, is effing strong mehn.

In other randomness, Mumcee is just a funny someborri. She went to Naija and guess what she posted to me? Toothbrush! Like, this is the first thing she is posting to me, by her own instincts. Toothbrush! I was like this woman! but I appreciate it though. All the brushes, that I have come across in Yankee are soft. I like enhanced bristles. But this toothbrush she sent is too hard. Too hard, if it mistakenly brushes your skin, it can bruise you.

je t'embarasse

Pusher 101 - Open letter to my mother

You are not the best mother in this world.

But you have brought out the best in me.

• Your wavering maternal presence unleashed my independence prematurely.
• Your mediocre culinary skills forced me into the kitchen, at age eight, to learn how to make that eforiro.
  
• You drove by me, when I was talking to that boy. Even at age twelve, you trusted me. Maybe you didn't care. I thought you trusted me to not mess up. And I didn't.
• I wanted to learn how to drive, at age sixteen. You let me learn with the car. The only car we had. The car I was ashamed of. I bashed it. The car looked worse. I learnt my lesson. You smiled.
  
• Second year in college and you have not asked to see my grades. You taught me that my grades do you no good. Thus, I have never received a present for acing my classes, not even in elementary school.
  
• I can't impress you, you exhaust me. Funny enough, you are my fuel.
  

Mummy,

1. I keep praying for your addiction to Sudoku to go away..
2. I am sorry for hitting you, when I sleep. I have told you times without number, to change the size of the bed. All my life, we've have shared the same room, same bed. Well, different beds but same size.
3. I hope you learn how to eat sushi, someday.
   
4. I don't want us to stop our periodic family gossip.
5. I want you to stop saying 'Mehn!'. It's my thing.
6. I look forward to the day, we will share stories about the 'boy department'.

I am not going to praise you but next time, I win 9 awards at the end of the school year, I want you to be proud of me. I doubt if that will ever happen again. You can, at least, come stand by me and not just clap in seat. That, I find it difficult to forgive you for.

I want to be a better mother to my kids. That's a feat.

Happy Birthday Mummy!

I dey house

and event no dey finish. I am quite used to 10 hrs + flight. But there was some eff-up in my system and I barfed up during my second flight. Damn! I was kinda happy. Like, I have barfed up less than 5 times in life. That may be weird tho. I don't know how some folks force themselves to recurgitate, them try.

As for my surprise home visit, my mumcee's face was friggin' classic plus my Afro is doing some wonders. Fam-bonding can never be overrated. It feels good, when your mum tells you to make Eba and Okro for dinner and you grumble tho u still do ur best to make the soup as tasty as ever. Mumcee called me old-fashioned but now that I'm here with my afro. She was using style to beg me not to show up at her office with my hair-do. I don't blame her cos I have been creating some stare-traffic, anywhere I go. One photographer even booked me for a photoshoot tomorrow lol. I will go sha. Europeans can look oh.

The part of Europe, where I live, has two competitve trends: Chain-smoking and PDA(Public Display of Affection). Chain-smoking is an over-flogged issue but PDA chai. You will sit in a tram innocently and may be uncomfortable to look in any direction cos there is always a couple doing some mushy stuff. I am not against PDAs but I have a preferred limit: e.g peck and smile. But living here has made used to seeing a couple neck, peck, smooch......some folks may call that making out sef. I don't think that is morally right cos even younger teens do such. You don't want your kid to see a guy groping his babe's akara-sized butt. Well, it's better to love than hate, right?

Mehn! my own summer has started to kick off for real. U no wan try European gbedu lol. This my 3mth internship wants to take the better part of me. But na lie!

On that note, bloggin', per se, resumes next week cos there are 5 pple, 5 laptops and only one ethernet cable in my house. Thus, only one person can browse at a time. Imagine 5 grown-ups targeting one ethernet cable lol. Mad fun, I swear. It's better than having 5 cables and no action. Funny stuff is why no one wants to even take time to buy extra cables.

Flashing on another level

Last Wednesday, my mum called...scratch that! The woman flashed me. You get? She called me and allowed my fone to ring for a nanosecond. Thus, I did not have enough time to pick her call.
With courtesy, I called her back, not flashed. Remember my mumcee from her preservation skills.

Yinkuslolo: 'Sup? I just got a missed call from u.
Mum: Oh! I was just flashing you
Yinkuslolo: Haba, I'm at work oh. U this woman! How far?
Mum: I was just greeting you. I also flashed Ruka(my cousin) in Naija and she called me back, we talked for a while.
Yinkuslolo: Ha Mummy! You must have burned her credit and made her feel guilty that she did not pick your call
Mum: ****he ha he ha he ha**(she giggled)

Back in Naija, my high schl declared "GSMs" to be contrabands. Trust hardknock-life boarders, some babes still sneaked in fones. Yinkuslolo cud not afford the consequences of the authorities seizing her janded Nokia fone, so I dint take my fone to skul. Still, I wud borrow a mate's fone and flash my mumcee twice spontaneously. God Bless my mother! She always called me back, even if it's 3 in the AM.

Now, that I am in Yankee, she flashes me all the way from Europe, across the oceans, not even minding the time difference. I dont even know when to take her missed calls seriously. So, I flash her back. Lol! It's a game oh. When we get tired, we start talking for 10 mins+ about nothing to everything.

Presently, I am rocking a fro. A friend told me that I look like I just time-traveled from a disco club in the 80s. As you may guess, when Mumcee saw me virtually, she said that I look old-fashioned and started laffing at moi.

She doesn't know that I'm paying her/home a surprise visit this wkend. I am still thinking about making it a surprise cos some folks are like "Yinkuslolo! u want to make a 10 hr+ flight a surprise visit"

But, I no send. Imma surprise my mumcee's a$ and she will not be able to avoid me, walking around with her, with my old-fashioned hair-do. **muahahaha***

PS: New post on Blogsville Gist, check it out.

PPS: This is related to the post. Sometime two yrs ago, I was yarning with a Kings College(KC) ex-boy. We were talking about flashing. He told me that one boy in KC flashed his P-man, cos the former was 'broke' and all those boarding skul suffer-head ish. The father flashed him back. See embarassment cos there was a group of boys round, borrowing the same fone. Just remembered, I still laff at the story. ha!

i fear this kain preservation skills

I just videochatted with my mumcee and cousin via skype. it was almost 2hrs long. most of the gist still had loose ends, after talking about nothing to everything. so, i showed them the stuffs i got yday and the very affordable prices of yankee stuffs compared to europe's. i cud perceive the jealousy. my cousin felt like passing thru the lappie's screen to grab one dress that i modeled for them.

after rotating my lappie for them to see everything in my room upon their request, they still criticized my numerous displayed cereal packs. they don't know what I go thru with the early mormor's lack of time and hunger before work. in return, i requested that they show me the setting of our living room and nearby areas. nothing had changed from the way i set during winter break.

so last winter brk, i saw 3 tubers of yam in the attic. i had to climb all the way upstairs yo reach them. i asked mumcee why and she complained abt the harsh weather. i relocated the tubers to the fireplace. i know that's awkward but no one uses the fire ish and it was empty. back to the vidchat when they were showing me round our house, i saw an empty fireplace.

"ahan! u guys dont eat yam again! the fireplace is empty" I asked.

"oh! they are in the freezer," my mum replied sharply.

I was like, "for reals!"

who does that? tubers of yam in freezer! when i go home, i have to check those tubers out cos i don't get. well, my mumcee and her preservation skills ehn!