*How to make love!*

Ingredients...

4 laughin eyes,
4 well shaped legs,
4 lovin arms,
2 firm milk containers,
2 nuts,
1 mixin bowl,
1 firm banana...

Method...
1. Look into laughin eyes
2. Spread well shaped legs with lovin arms
3. Squeeze & massage milk containers very gently
4. Gently add firm banana to mixin bowl workin in an out until well creamed
5. As heat rises plunge banana deep into mixin bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak, preferably not over nite
6. The cake is done when banana is soft, if banana doesn't soften repeat steps 3-5 or change mixin bowls! Note...
If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen..
1. Wash utensils carefully before and after use!
2. Do not lick mixin bowl!
3. If cake rises, leave town...

_________________________________

every line has pun-intentions.

stole it from a friend's fb.

shit is funny as hell. don't ask me if i've followed this recipe lol.

gotta post stuff like this, when you have too much time on your hands in jand.

Dating in College, potentially biased

College here, refers to a typical undergraduate higher-institution. In my case, I go to a college, one that is effectively diverse ethnically yet a white-dominated university. Lemme stop at that demographic yarning.

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you may want to dust your memory on the liberalism-supposedly present in my school.

On monday afternoon, I was sitting in a library and the wall on the main floor is made of see-through glass. I was looking through the glass, when I saw 3 males and female run through the campus naked, like effin' stark naked in broad day light. I know you are wondering who they were. Some white cross country runners, they usually run naked laps but I did not know that they ran naked even in broad daylight, in this cold. Funny part of the story is that the naked runners stumbled upon a prospective students' tour that was being given at the same time. ha! This is the second time that I'm seeing naked folks run through campus.

On Wednesday, I took the same spot in the glass-walled library and I saw two squirrels gettin' at it on the curb outside. It was a the doggy style, then I was like that spot in the library is not healthy for me esp. if I've got limited time to study.

Onto the topic of this post, Dating in college, I have some observations.

Before I came to college, I was accustomed to the baby steps approach to dating between 16 - 22 yr olds. This may be as a result of the fact that I grew up in Nigeria.

• Guy notices some babe
• Guy chases the babe and gets her phone number by hook, book or crook
• Keeps toasting her persistently and girl say no everytime
• Girl succumbs to a date after 1 - 3mth, depends on how much the babe is feeling the guy
• They get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff
• Girl and boy keep playing cat and mouse for 3 more mths, then they make it official
• Most times, the nookie is included after 6 mths, and their sexual compatibility is investigated/improved.

Now, in college, dating is done in reverse.

• Drunk boy and girl meet at a party, during the weekend
• They make out.
• They meet at parties on the following weekends and hook up.
• They keep doing the koko, not exclusively and find each other sexually-compatible
• Then, they get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff by going out on dates
• After 2 mths or so, they make it official

Now, I will not state my preference for the pattern that I like but the basis of my observation is that sexual compatibility seems to be the first criterion for dating anyone in my American college. On the other hand, sex is usually the last bus-stop on the to-do list in the typical Naija dating system.

One may criticise this college system of dating but I think that if sex is the pillar ( sometime, the purpose) of most relationships amongst 18 -22yr olds in college, then let the sexual compatibility be the initial criterion rather than beating around the bush.

You may beg to differ?

PS: miss natural, you wrote that I look familiar. from where? i may just know you. email me cos I can't comment on that post for some unknown reason.

Temptation 104.....Liberalism supposedly

I go to one of those extremely liberal American colleges. Views from the right are just as welcome, all for the sake of the proclaimed eclecticism.

• Sex party

Think about that literally. That's the name of an annual party in my school. This year's sex party is tomorrow. It is attended in ready-to-get-kpanshed apparel. No kidding, babes go to V.Secrets to get all the lingerie and the guys, fo sho, go in hot bum shorts. If you still do not get, there is live-sex going on by attendees in the party. Sex! That's the theme, proclaiming the human sexuality. I dint go last year. This year, Yinkuslolo and a friend wanted to go see that the ish happens for real cos I know after college, where else will I get to see such party? but guess what? tickets are already sold out. Even the fake ones are elusive. Some students are bidding the hoarded tickets

Update: I got fake tickets. U get? Some students made fake tickets for the sex party. So, I gathered my babes, with the fake tickets of cos. Unfortunately, the frat, where the sex party was at, was already filled to capacity. Hahaha, those with even real tickets were still outside cos some fake ticket holders got inside already and took up room space. mehn! it was mad cold and most babes were just with bra and shorts, while some guys were with shorts, ties and maybe, handcuffs. orisirisi gears for sexing. Oh college!

Talking about parties, I have to plan a Uniform party for next weekend on behalf of my student group. A uniform party is simply a costume party, dressing up as whatever you desire, naughty maid, sexy nurse, hot CEO or Lady Gaga.

• Gender-neutral bathrooms

Well, if you don't get, it means both sexes share the same bathroom space. There is no restroom specific to the Gents or Ladies.

A couple of minutes ago, I was trying to do number 2, to no avail. When I came out of the toilet stall, my homie, was shaving his goat-like strands and admiring his stubble. This guy lives next to me, actually we purposely live next together cos we're cool with each other like that asper friends. Now, we see each other in the bathroom, [read: in towels] all for the sake of the gender-neutral bathroom. Don't get me wrong. It's either you're excited that you will be seeing the opposite sex in your bathroom or you get offended. I'm cool with the ish yo! One of my homegirls is roommates[read: shares the room] with a guy. I don't know how they do it. Note: They are not going out. The roommate has a gf sef.

The other day, I was rushing into a toilet stall and bumped into a guy, The guy was pants down doing numero dos, I guess. I just quickly exchanged "sorry" apology with the guy "It is ok" reply and ran into the next empty stall. Still in shock, not like I saw anything, I uttered "God" and I'm sure the boy heard from his stall. He may pass me for some freak, not knowing that I say "God in place of "oh shit". Oops! Thou shall not say the name of the Lord in vain.

• Sex magazine

There is an annual sex magazine in my school. I was going thru the past editions and saw some students pose nude[read: stark naked] for the magazine. The magazine also contains sexuality articles.

In the fall, the cross-country males' team run thru the freshman dorms naked.

Ok, these points are not the main reasons, why I think my school's liberalism is questionable. Part two post is on the way.

PS:

Some ish going on.

Last Saturday, Yinkuslolo tried a cigarette. She dint even choke. Someone implied that she smokes like an advanced beginner. She doesn't like the feeling in the cavities. So, it's not on the prospective habits' list. She even took a pic with the whiff/poke going off. [read: I was trying to do some Ambersome shot, like the one on the side tab of my blog] Pardon me! I think smoking socially [esp with a cigar] is classy. More explanation on smoking socially, if needed.

Hey! It's Friday night.

Looks like imma just chill with my French Sauvignon [weekend wine of choice] or jet out with the homie.

Y'all be thinking along the lines of good girl going bad. No worries pple, I do just wine and no wine-buddy in sight yet!

Temptation 103, S.E.X

S.E.X!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is no pseudo-orgasmic experience on a roller coaster or some kpanshing-deprived outburst.

I know Leggy and maybe other bloggers have been hovering around this virginity issue but I have been asked questions . I wonder whether people think I am a major in sex virginity.

I have some gfs, who are in a dilemma of leaving the not-yet-penetrated state and moving to the chooking level. Now the questions that are withholding virgins back, not from me but a third party.

'Hypothetically thinking as a virgin-girl'

• Q:How much does this losing-your-virginity ish cost?
• A: I need bville to help me out. Deflowering causes u a brief pain and sex is blissful, not always.

• Q:Do our bros really care if they marry a virgin?
• A: In this century, nobody buys a Ferrari without making sure the engine runs smoothly. But for reals, guys! Will you give more respect to your wife, if she's a virgin? Putting all the cultural obligations aside, we know no one is gonna do the red sheet-full keg or white sheet-half keg in this age wedding ritual.

• Q: Our sexed sisters, do you regret loosing your virginity?
• A: Bville help me out.

• Q: If a girl is under 19 and she is determined to lose her virginity cos she thinks that is what is right for her, will you be in support?
• A: Now, I have two answers because I am morally religiously obligated to proclaim sex-until-marriage but I also believe in doing what makes you happy, if you will not look like a mugu.

• Q: Greatest question I keep thinking about: Is it advisable for two virgins to disvirgin each other?
• A: Bville! That's why I'm asking you.

I hope bville sexed folks can help me out, so I can give more reasonable answers, when I'm consulted. And the non-yet-sexed folks too, your input is tangible.

It's important mehn. I go to college, at the end of almost every party, comes a newly-deflowered babe.

Update: From the comments, which I have read so far, it seems folks tag the maturity needed for losing ur virginity at a particular age. I mean, your reasoning does not really parallel with your age?

Je t'embarasse

[On the fly], Queer sexual orientations,

I dislike when folks support some act because they don't want to be odd for not supporting it. Better still, they support some act because they wanna blend in.

Why am I thinking in somewhat-written-gibberish, I mean why do some folks support queer sexual orientations because they think it is some effing hip openmindedness. That's my main point. If I decide to behave like a minion and seem not to be opinionated, oh snap! I will be doing my curious self some injustice.

I am not sure I'm right. I am not sure anyone is even right but I can point out some, who are wrong. Btw, I am not even using anyone as a point of contact, but I have been reading stances on Homosexuality and other queer sexual orientations lately.
Facts:

• I cannot dislike/discriminate a queer-sexual, simply because I do not dislike/discriminate govt-fund embezzlers, kleptomaniacs....
• I tolerate /interact with queer-sexual folks, as friends, co-workers ...
• I have been to numerous LGBTQ info blahs
• But I cannot support some queer sexual orientation because I want to be considered openminded and acknowledge some political correctness restriction.

In addition, as a Nigerian, I know queer sexual orientations are not acceptable in [conservative] Nigeria. It then perplexes me, when Nigeria-bred folks go abroad briefly or have some queer friends, and claim that they are in support of the queer community. Please do take a rethink, if you think it is kinda cute to be queer or if you think it is hip to think queer folks are not different. I have been forced to consider that some people accept the cause, to be a step on the Westernization ladder.

Just to be clear, I do not intend to control what people think. I am not judging cos I am yet to consider my religious obligation. If I delve into that, I would have substantial backup, that may lead me to considering the integrity of the religion. Snap! Back to the main gist.

Sometimes, I relate being queer with hurting someone. The way queer folks have the urges to fulfill their not-straight sexual desires is the same way some folks have the urge to strangle strangers. If this comparison is unbalanced, I know both sides share something mutual: the urges must not be fulfilled. There are mere urges, conquer them. I am tempted to prescribe shock therapy.

Plus, thanks to Sugabelly, she brought a fact, there is no natural human-body-part provision for homosexuals, to my knowledge.

Maybe, this post justifies my '?' status on Penelope's post, for now. I am not interested in debating this topic,

but eating my Thai Lemon Chicken with FriedRice for lunch.