Thursday, November 5, 2009

Dating in College, potentially biased

College here, refers to a typical undergraduate higher-institution. In my case, I go to a college, one that is effectively diverse ethnically yet a white-dominated university. Lemme stop at that demographic yarning.

If you're a regular reader of my blog, you may want to dust your memory on the liberalism-supposedly present in my school.

On monday afternoon, I was sitting in a library and the wall on the main floor is made of see-through glass. I was looking through the glass, when I saw 3 males and female run through the campus naked, like effin' stark naked in broad day light. I know you are wondering who they were. Some white cross country runners, they usually run naked laps but I did not know that they ran naked even in broad daylight, in this cold. Funny part of the story is that the naked runners stumbled upon a prospective students' tour that was being given at the same time. ha! This is the second time that I'm seeing naked folks run through campus.

On Wednesday, I took the same spot in the glass-walled library and I saw two squirrels gettin' at it on the curb outside. It was a the doggy style, then I was like that spot in the library is not healthy for me esp. if I've got limited time to study.

Onto the topic of this post, Dating in college, I have some observations.
Before I came to college, I was accustomed to the baby steps approach to dating between 16 - 22 yr olds. This may be as a result of the fact that I grew up in Nigeria.
  • Guy notices some babe
  • Guy chases the babe and gets her phone number by hook, book or crook
  • Keeps toasting her persistently and girl say no everytime
  • Girl succumbs to a date after 1 - 3mth, depends on how much the babe is feeling the guy
  • They get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff
  • Girl and boy keep playing cat and mouse for 3 more mths, then they make it official
  • Most times, the nookie is included after 6 mths, and their sexual compatibility is investigated/improved.
Now, in college, dating is done in reverse.
  • Drunk boy and girl meet at a party, during the weekend
  • They make out.
  • They meet at parties on the following weekends and hook up.
  • They keep doing the koko, not exclusively and find each other sexually-compatible
  • Then, they get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff by going out on dates
  • After 2 mths or so, they make it official
Now, I will not state my preference for the pattern that I like but the basis of my observation is that sexual compatibility seems to be the first criterion for dating anyone in my American college. On the other hand, sex is usually the last bus-stop on the to-do list in the typical Naija dating system.

One may criticise this college system of dating but I think that if sex is the pillar ( sometime, the purpose) of most relationships amongst 18 -22yr olds in college, then let the sexual compatibility be the initial criterion rather than beating around the bush.

You may beg to differ?

PS: miss natural, you wrote that I look familiar. from where? i may just know you. email me cos I can't comment on that post for some unknown reason.

29 comments:

leggy said...

i do prefer the nigerian scene...even if you are interested in a girl cos of sex..make her feel special first.dont you think?

Anonymous said...

Went to all three levels of college here and I am not a fan of the dating system. The two two month relationships they have is because their relationships are mostly based on the physical which equals a false sense of love (not to say all cases sha o). Our process is "rigorous", you can sift the unserious ones by using our system (once again not to say the guys that chase all have good intentions) but they know how to make a girl feel special.

TayneMent said...

Omo, I am intrigued by your school> Besides the demo-ing for 3 months I favor the naija style only because if I am looking for a relationship I would hope it would be a longterm one. If you are not looking for anything serious or your mind is in a we'll see where it goes frame then option 2 will be okay for you.

Myne Whitman said...

I agree with taynement but like you noted, we may all be biased...

University said...

i agree this article...

I think this an amazing article!! It is very honest and I like how Myrtie tries to find something in the middle in terms of dating. I feel like dating would be easier for students at Northwestern because you dont have to worry about the stress of relationships or your reputation with hookups.

BBB said...

well..
naija all d way..... sex isnt evrythin... though both parts are important.....

Bibi said...

My dear, that's the way it is o! I was hanging with some American friends one day and if you see the way they talked about a gurl who came over to say hi. Apparently, 3 of the guys had hooked with her in bars. It was very akward when she realised that she knew all 3 of them from a hotel room. Funny thing is, the guys didn't think she was a whore. They said she was 'exploring her sexuality' na God go help us for this country.

Dark Neo said...

@ Yinkusolo ... shouldn't you call it Squirrely style?

I like option 2 .... there are other things that can be gained from a relationship not just sex and/or love
Whatever it is just start there and build around it. If it happens to be love you are looking for option 1 is the test for finding it(and it is HARDLY a sure test).

ifeoma odogwu said...

random hook-ups can seem really exciting but i'll have 2 go wit d naija style... u nid 2 no who ur hookin up wit 2 a certain extent. i'm just saying

TaioFierce Ameen said...

it ol depends on wt u r lkin 4 at first oh....buh its wteva suits one d person ll do

Miss Natural said...

woah!first and foremost great post. I really enjoyed reading it.Plus I have to say very perceptive lol...u summed the r.ship stages nicely! I will def send you an email, tho im quite lazy right nw:)

lucidlilith said...

Yinkus this your post is cracking me up silly. Especially about the streakers bumping into a college tour group. I hope there were no parents...lol

muyiwa said...

The second style is the koko,no long thing

Original Mgbeke said...

I caught up on the other post, wow your school seems very interesting.
As per the dating system, LOL...you hit the nail on the head.
Naija style works when you are getting older/want something more concrete but in college days, the other options definitely works for some.

TRYBES said...

For me..there are times both options come in handy...so i cant discard any of both options
Lol @ Dark neo's Squirrely style

miss.fab said...

Lol so true. I definitely prefer the Naija style, save for a few of the steps involved. Attraction is very crucial for me though so I'm not totally opposed to the American college style (again, minus a few of the steps).

But yeah, to each their own

RoByn LaTice said...

This is my first time reading your post, this is hilarious. Such a good topic. I think you definetly hit the hammer on the head with describing dating. I lol-ed at the second list. Well, I think both work well. Either way they could end quickly relationship wise. Just bc he chases the girl doesnt necessarily mean its going to last. Anywho great post!

Imoteda said...

Lol... Its so true man. But really sexual compatibility is not a bases for a relationship period. Relationships in university do not last mostly. ANd you say the sex is the last stop in Nigerian relationships but that isn't true o. Men want the sex they just realize that they have t be a little patient before it can come to them. Well had. Nowadays nigerian men don't even want to bother with the relationship bit.. I keep hearing "You know how it is". NAWWW NIGGA I DONT KNOW HOW IT IS

Imoteda said...

By the way babes.. please tell me how to add pictures to my post? I have been so unsuccessful

RoByn LaTice said...

[iRRELEVANT TO THiS POST]-In the Honesty box on facebook it shows the comment either in blue or pink. If its in pink a girl left it. If its blue a boy left the comment!

Yinkuslolo said...

imoteda: when ure writng a post, there is a 'add image' link in the bar above with all the formatting stuff. it looks like a seaside picture, click on it and upload ur pics

robyn: thanx for the tip

and all comments are very much appreciated

college dating said...

Now a days the dating has become a common habit for the college people.

college dating said...

Its really become a regular habit for the college students.

Ms. 'dufa said...

Your school's very intriguing.

If sexual compatability is the issue then it translates to the fact that most college relationships i.e dating, would have sex as their basis.

muyiwa said...

P.S,your favourite artiste adol is out with a new track http://www.notjustok.com/2009/11/13/adol-ft-fragrance-ife-re-your-love

enjoy

Yinkuslolo said...

thanx for the tip, muywa. but for some reason, i am not feeling it as much as orin

Neo said...

i'm with leggy on dis one.

Like ur blog btw.

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college dating said...

Well had. Nowadays nigerian men don't even want to bother with the relationship bit.. I keep hearing "You know how it is". NAWWW NIGGA I DONT KNOW HOW IT IS


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