Thursday, December 17, 2009

"You know that, I'll be coming home" (Bday special)

I prefer
  1. Sucking to Licking
  2. Humor to Swag
  3. Ketchup to Cheese
  4. Firm buns to great racks
  5. Chocolate to latte pigmentation
  6. creamed Hausa accent to British'
  7. Wine to Beer
  8. Spooning to Grinding
  9. Porn to CNN
  10. Hookah to Pot
  11. Sums to Papers
  12. Eyeliner to Lipstick
  13. Kunu to Smoothies
  14. Flats to Heels
  15. Sums to Papers
  16. Body to Face
  17. the Chase to the Kill
  18. good loving to cash

So, I really should be studying but Im just out of that mood. My Bday is in 2days, the 19th, Sat. Im going home next week. I'm not excited for either. I intended posting this on my bday, but Imma be busting my ass for my Orgo final then. So, here is my Bday special, my preferences. very random cos I was studying and these were the first things that came to my mind, in that order.
    The title is a line from John Legend's Coming Home.

I just realised that I want one of these badly lol. They are made by Z.

and Myne Whitman's e-Book, A Heart to Mend. Both for my break/bday.
Peace. Love. and Coconut.

    Tuesday, December 1, 2009

    "Birthday sex, Birthday Sex."

    Y'all be expecting read stuff about getting some action. holt! not yet, It's not yet my birthday yet.

    But in 19 days, to be exact. yes, Dec 19th! bomp! womp! lomp! Coincidentally, Robby and I are birthday mates. Just putting it out there, in case you want to organize a party for us on FB, buy some stuffs from eBay, send us an eCard, and hug us thru skype.

    This is going to be a legit year mark. Y'all know when your age grants you some statutory access, you be feeling fly. Lemme stop this round abt story, I dont know what this bday will look like. I dont have any expectations. Given it a serious thought and all I really want, besides the sentimental "Happy Birthday shout-outs", are
    Good Loving. most importantly. (I don't mean BAMF stunts). I just want to chill and you know spend some QT with loved ones. Now, this is too much to ask for?

    Adobe Photoshop for MAC. I need the App, for my hobby. (click on photos for more 411)


    And a camera bag for my canon rebel T1i, which I just got.
    This yr, I'll be jacking for my Orgo Exam final.
    Last year, I was in air for the most part.
    The year before that, I had >10 major college application essays, due the wk after. Explanatory.
    And before that, I was in stuck in HS, prepping for another exam.

    Btw, why is there a sketchy rumor about Yarddy being chronically ill? If the president is sick, how can the nation be healthy?

    Je t'embarasse.
    BAMF: Bad ass Mo^$^RFu*&(%^^$
    QT: Quality Time

    PS: My Text Size is off the hi-zack in this post, I don't have the patience to deal with Blogger's Editor. I tried and tried to no avail.

    Monday, November 23, 2009

    Tips

    If you go to eat in a restaurant (**haha**, my mumcee pronounces the word in French but with the Yoruba tone), in Yankee, you are expected to tip the waiter. That is to my knowledge.

    I know not everyone will tip like a Johnny Depp, who tipped a waiter $4000.

    If you tip at all, my point in question lies somewhere there. How much? Most restaurants recommend 15%, where I reside. When I'm in a restaurant with poor service, I'm like 'say who die?!?' Reason is that I'm a middle class student, I can't be tipping $3 for every $15 or so meal, every time. During breaks, I eat out a lot. In fact, I love to eat dishes, from different places. Any Sushi, Panini or Pad Thai grubbies in blogsville? Related randomisity, I organized a Food fair for the Intl Stud Assoc at my school, last Sat. So much food, from different parts of the world, was too busy to sample much tho.

    Back to my tipping story, I pay for my eat-outs myself, most times. This one time, I went out with 4 other friends and we were billed ensemble. The waitress did not even ask if we wanted to pay separately. Anyway, you will not believe she indirectly told us to do the maths ie. calculate whose food costs so so and so. Escusez-moi? I expected her to apologise for not asking how we wanted to be billed and offer to sort out the bill. I was pissed seriously. And I bet she still expected to be tipped. After eating with delight, we started using the calculator in our phones to divide tax and ish. Trust American students, every man for his bill.

    Another situation, that a friend told me about, was when she ate at a Thai restaurant and forgot to tip. One of the waitresses caught up with her and her friends to remind them to do so, out side the restaurant. Last time, I checked, tipping was recommended and not necessary. Am I right?

    Maybe it is the Nigerian mentality in me but I think it is up to these restaurants to pay their workers well and not make customers feel guilty for not tipping. In Naija restaurants, with comparable standards, tipping is not a must but for sure, customers leave their bill payment balances(change) for the waiters, according to their own judgment.

    One time, a friend decided to have a to-go at some place because she did not want to feel guilty for not tipping the waiter, if she ate in there.

    Case in a nutshell, I'm just a middle class student, who likes to eat. I don't want any waiter to think that I'm miserly cos don't tip generously. I try.

    PS: I am not referring to 5-star restaurants.

    Monday, November 16, 2009

    "Where is Leggy!?" I have the answer..read on

    I promise that this is not with relation to the recent and definitely, unwarranted dispute in blogsville.

    If you try to go to Leggy's blog, you will get the 'the blog cannot be found' default. Actually, Leggy deleted her blog with the intention of coming back in 2010 because some non-blogsville folks, who found out her blog, were reading her supposed-anonymous posts. From the source, these non-bville residents think that she is writing stuff about them and she decided to go off-air for a while.

    Well, the problem is that she is trying to recover her deleted blog acct and that has not been successful. She told me to ask If you know how to recover a recently ( less than 90 days), pls let her know and drop your suggestions for recovery.

    Currently, she is back to her first url, http://leggy-freda.blogspot.com/

    Je t'embarasse.

    PS: Right know, all my tests have rendered my technologically-challenged. I have no ideas

    Thursday, November 5, 2009

    Dating in College, potentially biased

    College here, refers to a typical undergraduate higher-institution. In my case, I go to a college, one that is effectively diverse ethnically yet a white-dominated university. Lemme stop at that demographic yarning.

    If you're a regular reader of my blog, you may want to dust your memory on the liberalism-supposedly present in my school.

    On monday afternoon, I was sitting in a library and the wall on the main floor is made of see-through glass. I was looking through the glass, when I saw 3 males and female run through the campus naked, like effin' stark naked in broad day light. I know you are wondering who they were. Some white cross country runners, they usually run naked laps but I did not know that they ran naked even in broad daylight, in this cold. Funny part of the story is that the naked runners stumbled upon a prospective students' tour that was being given at the same time. ha! This is the second time that I'm seeing naked folks run through campus.

    On Wednesday, I took the same spot in the glass-walled library and I saw two squirrels gettin' at it on the curb outside. It was a the doggy style, then I was like that spot in the library is not healthy for me esp. if I've got limited time to study.

    Onto the topic of this post, Dating in college, I have some observations.
    Before I came to college, I was accustomed to the baby steps approach to dating between 16 - 22 yr olds. This may be as a result of the fact that I grew up in Nigeria.
    • Guy notices some babe
    • Guy chases the babe and gets her phone number by hook, book or crook
    • Keeps toasting her persistently and girl say no everytime
    • Girl succumbs to a date after 1 - 3mth, depends on how much the babe is feeling the guy
    • They get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff
    • Girl and boy keep playing cat and mouse for 3 more mths, then they make it official
    • Most times, the nookie is included after 6 mths, and their sexual compatibility is investigated/improved.
    Now, in college, dating is done in reverse.
    • Drunk boy and girl meet at a party, during the weekend
    • They make out.
    • They meet at parties on the following weekends and hook up.
    • They keep doing the koko, not exclusively and find each other sexually-compatible
    • Then, they get to know each other, all the hobbies, habits and stuff by going out on dates
    • After 2 mths or so, they make it official
    Now, I will not state my preference for the pattern that I like but the basis of my observation is that sexual compatibility seems to be the first criterion for dating anyone in my American college. On the other hand, sex is usually the last bus-stop on the to-do list in the typical Naija dating system.

    One may criticise this college system of dating but I think that if sex is the pillar ( sometime, the purpose) of most relationships amongst 18 -22yr olds in college, then let the sexual compatibility be the initial criterion rather than beating around the bush.

    You may beg to differ?

    PS: miss natural, you wrote that I look familiar. from where? i may just know you. email me cos I can't comment on that post for some unknown reason.

    Sunday, November 1, 2009

    DC chilling, Halloween and other stories (My first personal pics included)

    Sup fellow Blogsvillites?

    I see some new bloggers popping, some have migrated to Twitter to discuss Blogsville and other issues, some funny/controversial/*^%? ones are acquiring a fan base, some females are chopping the hair off (including moi), some are still posting up poems (i dont read most them tho), some are just there, some are tryna get the Blogsville critic/judge title and some have gone MIA. Y'all know where you belong? How y'all been tho?

    Mehn, Ms. Dufa's blog's playlist has been on, on my lappie, for the last 3 hrs. I'm feeling most of those jamz mehn. Like, my iTunes is becoming 2000 and late. Homegirl is busy jare. I was on Ms. Dufa's blog, after a long while today. PS: If I don't comment on your blog, trust me, I am in touch thru my Google Reader. if you don't use that ish, get on it. Google reader has been saving milions of my seconds of opening individual blogs.

    So, how was my DC trip?
    Last wkend was my fall break and I went PG chillin'. Good stuff mehn. But my 45 mins flight from JFK was unfortunately eventful. Fashi that side sha. I went shopping, chilling, went to DC's Chinatown branched to Smithsonian and saw the monument, White House, Air and Space Musuem. Basically, orisirisi avenues of American History. It was coincidentally Howard's Homecoming and before you ask I wasn't at any of them events but I went to Howard on Monday. That's the first HBCU, that I went visiting and guess what? I had to dress up because they dress-up to school at Howard. Say wetin happen! some folks at my school even go to class in their PJs mehn. Dressing is mainly for night time. But I wore my koi-koi oh cos I baffed up and my legs pain me tire that day. Howard has some strong hilly parts mehn. I met some folks there, cool Naija people feeling fresh, as expected. Some Howard infrastructures need to be renovated tho but I like the school. Even though, it's like the opposite of mine.

    And then! I lost my Halloween virginity on Friday. Shit mehn. Kanye West was kicking it. For those that are not current, I was Kanye West (with boobs) and two of my friends were Taylor Swift and Beyonce. It was a long night jo. I'm not gonna dish out the long story but I recovered with 12 hrs of sleep.

    And guess whataaaa! I'm posting pics. I have not posted pics of myself not because I don't want to identifed but I did not want to have a face to my blog-story. Anyway, due to popular demand, here are my Kanye pics. I didn't get the shutter glasses but I found that top in DC. I will like to warn you that on a regular day, I will not look like this. Well, I present to you Yinkuslolo, in her naked Kanye-ego. Dayum! I can't believe I'm not having some hawt [read: sexy] pic of my regular self up, as my first personal photo. whatevs mehn!
    She's wearing a wig cos she's actually a brunette and I'm holding my shoe polish.
    "Yo Taylor! I'm real happy for you and Imma let you finish
    but Beyonce got the best video of all time!"

    UPDATE: Pics have been removed.


    PS: I usually have Orin by Adol on replay. I think the song is not popular and it's not really my in preffered genre but I have been feeling it for the last 6 wks. who else has?

    Friday, October 30, 2009

    Joke of the day.

    Catholics Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

    The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

    The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'...."

    The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."

    The fourth Catholic man says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

    Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

    She replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist, and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God..."

    ****************************
    I smiled but didn't laff. Semi-gist abt my DC trip, coming soon.
    How y'all been doing?

    Tuesday, October 20, 2009

    Random Quickie

    My fall break starts on Friday and I'm going to DC, for my first time. What's popping there? I guess I'll find out.

    My friend and I were discussing Halloween costumes. She said she wants to be a bee. Then, I mistakenly heard Taylor Swift and she was like, 'Yeah, I can be taylor Swift'. From nowhere, I said, ' and I can be Kanye West.' That's going to be ridic. She's a brunnette but she's gonna buy a blonde wig, while I get some kicks and rock my big chop.

    Oh yeah, I made a public debut of my short hair last Sat. Erryone was like, 'Rock it!' but I look so different. I also leveled the cut and it's almost molo. Honestly, I don't give a hoot about my looks these days. Popping lip rubs and lined-eyes help though.

    The shape of my head cracks me up. Imagine, those wicked girls, back in high school, that used to call me big-head. Haha, big head ko, big head ni. I have just been adoring my sexy medulla.

    New England suddenly fast forwarded to winter over the weekend. Where the eff did fall go to? Though, today was warm.

    Saturday, October 17, 2009

    So, I gave the 'talk'

    It was basically about my transition to America(college really), as an African student. I didn't do the Nigerian culture ish and decided to present this sort of talk at the last min, actually 4 hrs before. Believe me, there was more to say.
    This is not the exact version cos I added and omitted some stuff, while I talked. I wish I did better tho.

    read the sketch below------------------------
    **Speak some Yoruba…**
    I just spoke an adage meaning (**insert here**) in a language that is not called Nigerian. And definitely not called African. It’s Yoruba.

    I remember my 'Coming to America' like the last meal that I just ate. Every time I felt the plane descending, I thought the pilot was about to announce landing. I was anxious to step on the land that supposedly flows with milk, Mariah Careys, skyscrapers and honey. I was eager to touch the American soil. Yet, I arrived at the smaller-than-expected airport and came straight to the **insert school name here** bubble in a town in the middle of nowhere....otherwise known as amazing ***insert town here***

    As a freshman, who had only seen the campus online, the college's beautiful, yet confusing, layout impressed me. I don’t have to emphasize how excited I was about the dryers until they shrunk my clothes or the way the butt-wetting automatic flush toilets in **campus center*** welcomed me. But the number of ‘how are u doing?s’, that I got per day was uncountable.

    My presence in gatherings did not arouse any peculiar interest, besides my name badge with an 11-letter word, **guess unusual Yoruba name**. I had to explain the meaning and origin of my name, which actually means a full sentence, God surrounds me. Then, teach folks how to pronounce my name with the right intonation, until I gave up and accepted the anglo-phonetized version. In the process, I get the ‘You have an accent’, I tell folks that my accent is Nigerian. Then, the ‘Oh! You are African, what’s is that fluffy snack eaten in Angola?’ or ‘You speak English so well’ pops up.

    Initially, I explained that because I am Nigerian, I am not meant to know stuff about other African countries like what people eat in Somali or smoke in Burkina Faso because Africa is some huge continent, bigger than Europe. I'm Nigerian, and I only speak one out of the 250 + languages we speak in Nigeria and English, which is my primary language. I have told people times without number that even though, I am considered an alien, visa-wise in the US, I have been speaking English all my life.

    Overtime, I eventually ran out of patience for having to give what seemed like endless explanations. I became nettled and wondered why some people had a single story about Africa. The type of Africa depicted on TV, the primary source of global information. The Africa that has nothing worth publicizing other than starving children, endless wars, roaming lions and funny-sounding languages. But after spending sometime, I realized it is the single story, according to Chimamanda Adichie, that most of us have in mind that gives us a picture of a group of people. Unfortunately, this is true for africa. for me, it is not merely a single...." it is not merely a single story for a group of people from a country but a continent. It is not my fault that I initially thought going to New York guaranteed my seeing a celebrity. It is not my fault that I didn’t know the lower economic class also existed in America.

    Whose fault is it? The informant, who omitted some information and repeated the preferred information that gives a false image. Or the informed, who fails to inquire?

    Nonetheless, It's been a year and I'm still going strong. The American experience has been thoroughly entertaining. The cold during the winter is definitely incredible; I still look forward to shoving through the snow, touching it and checking the weather every 12 hrs. I still try to be politically correct, by **school's** standards, when I communicate with people. Don't forget that my mind is colonized by the British? Yet, I dwell in the African realm. I look forward to where my name is pronounced with the right intonation, when I can wear my regular trousers and take a siesta on the verandah in December.

    I have left my beloved Nigeria for 18 months now. Yet, I think of ***school's name**, as aggressive, eclectic, motivating but I am amazed at how she wraps you in her energy, sexiness, openness and fun spitting expletives at all irrespective of color, gender and musical preference, a feature, sadly missing in many other places that I've been. ***words of F-Iyanda***

    I’m glad that I came.
    --------
    Je t'embarrase

    Wednesday, October 14, 2009

    Help!

    Recently, I have been askin different questions. Blogsville residents are the best. I'm not done yet people. biko nu, help a sister out.

    This friday, the [somewhat-inactive] African Stud. Assoc. in my school want to have a mini-show. So, Yinkuslolo has to do something. I will talk about the African student transition to an American university and talk about the Nigerian(read:African) experience.

    Why? because I am funny, even unintentionally. I don't know the humor these folks see in me but imma do something anyway.

    If you have anything to share, pls, leave a comment about it.

    Anything like,
    Myths about Nigerians?
    You know you're African[/Nigerian], when you _____?
    If you study in the US[or anywhere abroad], what are your [funny] transition memories/encounters.

    Even a link to some online information will be appreciated.
    This week is crajjeeee mehn, my Beast mode is in full swing definitely.

    Help me with suggestions abeg! Thanx in adv.