Monday, September 28, 2009

Beast mode!

So! This wkend was sorta ideal to me.

Friday night, I chilled with my friends at a graduate student's house for 6.5 hrs. From making dinner, to baking the dessert, to playing cardgames, Kems( just like Naija's jackpot) and spoons (just like Naija's donkeyride). Funniest thing was that I chilled with my Calculus Instructor from last semester. This guy tried to give me tough time last semester. Not tryna make mouth or anything, but he made me pay extra attn to Maths for the first time in my life. Lmao! I used to think that Maths na beans. I still do, really. At the end of the day, he blamed it on my participation, when I thought I was a noise-maker in Maths class lol. I was still angry with him until I saw on Friday night and we became cool after hanging out for 6 hrs +. He is mad cool tho. Also, I learnt a card trick from a Maths PHD student. Rough cuteness oozing! (If you want more info on that description, holla!)

Saturday night, the party my student group planned sucked. =/ Up to the extent that I had to leave to go chill at another joint. Let's just say the other party I went to was on a mad roll. Gbedu express! 5 mins after I got there, Psafe came and there was a rumor that all under-21s should use the back door to escape. See folks rushing out like sardines. Trust college students, the party resumed after the drama.

This week, I have 3 major tests, 2 labs reports and other random assignments due. Ok!

This is why I annoyingly love college. So much work to do, I am not complaining again. I'll just do everything bumper-to-bumper and look forward to the weekend.

Oh yes! Yinkuslolo may be in New York, this coming wkend, for the famous Naija Independence Parade and orisirisi celebration. I have never attended. Who has? What happens? Who is going?

Ok, I never write about my wkends on here.

Good night y'all, I have 5 classes on Monday. Beast-mode, please!

Je t'embrasse

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Pusher 101 - Open letter to my mother

You are not the best mother in this world.

But you have brought out the best in me.
  • Your wavering maternal presence unleashed my independence prematurely.
  • Your mediocre culinary skills forced me into the kitchen, at age eight, to learn how to make that eforiro.
  • You drove by me, when I was talking to that boy. Even at age twelve, you trusted me. Maybe you didn't care. I thought you trusted me to not mess up. And I didn't.
  • I wanted to learn how to drive, at age sixteen. You let me learn with the car. The only car we had. The car I was ashamed of. I bashed it. The car looked worse. I learnt my lesson. You smiled.
  • Second year in college and you have not asked to see my grades. You taught me that my grades do you no good. Thus, I have never received a present for acing my classes, not even in elementary school.
  • I can't impress you, you exhaust me. Funny enough, you are my fuel.
  1. I keep praying for your addiction to Sudoku to go away..
  2. I am sorry for hitting you, when I sleep. I have told you times without number, to change the size of the bed. All my life, we've have shared the same room, same bed. Well, different beds but same size.
  3. I hope you learn how to eat sushi, someday.
  4. I don't want us to stop our periodic family gossip.
  5. I want you to stop saying 'Mehn!'. It's my thing.
  6. I look forward to the day, we will share stories about the 'boy department'.

I am not going to praise you but next time, I win 9 awards at the end of the school year, I want you to be proud of me. I doubt if that will ever happen again. You can, at least, come stand by me and not just clap in seat. That, I find it difficult to forgive you for.

I want to be a better mother to my kids. That's a feat.

Happy Birthday Mummy!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Temptation 104.....Liberalism supposedly

I go to one of those extremely liberal American colleges. Views from the right are just as welcome, all for the sake of the proclaimed eclecticism.

  • Sex party
Think about that literally. That's the name of an annual party in my school. This year's sex party is tomorrow. It is attended in ready-to-get-kpanshed apparel. No kidding, babes go to V.Secrets to get all the lingerie and the guys, fo sho, go in hot bum shorts. If you still do not get, there is live-sex going on by attendees in the party. Sex! That's the theme, proclaiming the human sexuality. I dint go last year. This year, Yinkuslolo and a friend wanted to go see that the ish happens for real cos I know after college, where else will I get to see such party? but guess what? tickets are already sold out. Even the fake ones are elusive. Some students are bidding the hoarded tickets

Update: I got fake tickets. U get? Some students made fake tickets for the sex party. So, I gathered my babes, with the fake tickets of cos. Unfortunately, the frat, where the sex party was at, was already filled to capacity. Hahaha, those with even real tickets were still outside cos some fake ticket holders got inside already and took up room space. mehn! it was mad cold and most babes were just with bra and shorts, while some guys were with shorts, ties and maybe, handcuffs. orisirisi gears for sexing. Oh college!

Talking about parties, I have to plan a Uniform party for next weekend on behalf of my student group. A uniform party is simply a costume party, dressing up as whatever you desire, naughty maid, sexy nurse, hot CEO or Lady Gaga.

  • Gender-neutral bathrooms
Well, if you don't get, it means both sexes share the same bathroom space. There is no restroom specific to the Gents or Ladies.

A couple of minutes ago, I was trying to do number 2, to no avail. When I came out of the toilet stall, my homie, was shaving his goat-like strands and admiring his stubble. This guy lives next to me, actually we purposely live next together cos we're cool with each other like that asper friends. Now, we see each other in the bathroom, [read: in towels] all for the sake of the gender-neutral bathroom. Don't get me wrong. It's either you're excited that you will be seeing the opposite sex in your bathroom or you get offended. I'm cool with the ish yo! One of my homegirls is roommates[read: shares the room] with a guy. I don't know how they do it. Note: They are not going out. The roommate has a gf sef.

The other day, I was rushing into a toilet stall and bumped into a guy, The guy was pants down doing numero dos, I guess. I just quickly exchanged "sorry" apology with the guy "It is ok" reply and ran into the next empty stall. Still in shock, not like I saw anything, I uttered "God" and I'm sure the boy heard from his stall. He may pass me for some freak, not knowing that I say "God in place of "oh shit". Oops! Thou shall not say the name of the Lord in vain.

  • Sex magazine
There is an annual sex magazine in my school. I was going thru the past editions and saw some students pose nude[read: stark naked] for the magazine. The magazine also contains sexuality articles.

In the fall, the cross-country males' team run thru the freshman dorms naked.

Ok, these points are not the main reasons, why I think my school's liberalism is questionable. Part two post is on the way.

Some ish going on.
Last Saturday, Yinkuslolo tried a cigarette. She dint even choke. Someone implied that she smokes like an advanced beginner. She doesn't like the feeling in the cavities. So, it's not on the prospective habits' list. She even took a pic with the whiff/poke going off. [read: I was trying to do some Ambersome shot, like the one on the side tab of my blog] Pardon me! I think smoking socially [esp with a cigar] is classy. More explanation on smoking socially, if needed.

Hey! It's Friday night.
Looks like imma just chill with my French Sauvignon [weekend wine of choice] or jet out with the homie.

Y'all be thinking along the lines of good girl going bad. No worries pple, I do just wine and no wine-buddy in sight yet!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


I can't understand this silent French movie

Organic chemistry is gonna kill my scholastic ego.

Mumcee is somewhere across the Pacific? I don't even know and I am tempted not to care.

Too much oestrogen flying everywhere but there is no XY-chromosomed being worthy of it? maybe, maybe not.

  • 5 classes + 1 skill lesson.

  • 2 jobs.

  • Anticipated year-long chemistry research.

  • Community service - hospital volunteerism.

  • Co-chair of school's international student organization.

and all I have done today is daydream.

fucking daydream bitch!

My cavities are sore but will be waterlogged at noon, tomorrow.

I want to cry but even my myopic eyes are dried.

I don't want to infect anyone with this undeserving sadness.

I want no sorries but solutions. Maybe I'm moving too fast.

I can't dare to slow down

Ps: sympathy's not needed. Thank you.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Temptation 103, S.E.X


This is no pseudo-orgasmic experience on a roller coaster or some kpanshing-deprived outburst.
I know Leggy and maybe other bloggers have been hovering around this virginity issue but I have been asked questions . I wonder whether people think I am a major in sex virginity.

I have some gfs, who are in a dilemma of leaving the not-yet-penetrated state and moving to the chooking level. Now the questions that are withholding virgins back, not from me but a third party.

'Hypothetically thinking as a virgin-girl'
  • Q:How much does this losing-your-virginity ish cost?
  • A: I need bville to help me out. Deflowering causes u a brief pain and sex is blissful, not always.
  • Q:Do our bros really care if they marry a virgin?
  • A: In this century, nobody buys a Ferrari without making sure the engine runs smoothly. But for reals, guys! Will you give more respect to your wife, if she's a virgin? Putting all the cultural obligations aside, we know no one is gonna do the red sheet-full keg or white sheet-half keg in this age wedding ritual.
  • Q: Our sexed sisters, do you regret loosing your virginity?
  • A: Bville help me out.
  • Q: If a girl is under 19 and she is determined to lose her virginity cos she thinks that is what is right for her, will you be in support?
  • A: Now, I have two answers because I am morally religiously obligated to proclaim sex-until-marriage but I also believe in doing what makes you happy, if you will not look like a mugu.
  • Q: Greatest question I keep thinking about: Is it advisable for two virgins to disvirgin each other?
  • A: Bville! That's why I'm asking you.
I hope bville sexed folks can help me out, so I can give more reasonable answers, when I'm consulted. And the non-yet-sexed folks too, your input is tangible.
It's important mehn. I go to college, at the end of almost every party, comes a newly-deflowered babe.

Update: From the comments, which I have read so far, it seems folks tag the maturity needed for losing ur virginity at a particular age. I mean, your reasoning does not really parallel with your age?

Je t'embarasse

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Pictures for thought

Regular Simpsons
Modified Simpsons for Angolan viewers

? Imagine ?Is Google racist? Don't bother searching, they have amended the suggestion. This pic is not for jokes

Disclaimer: This is not my creation, just a rib-cracking intention. If it struck a nerve, pele! It made me laff.

**he tsk he tsk he tsk** (me, laffing in French)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Case in Point....Friends

Law 36: Disdain Things you cannot have.....

Back in Naija, I had many friends. I went to a boarding school, and I was like one of the 'majority'. I am tempted to compare getting friends then with shopping for clothes in Teju-Osho market. Some friends are on sale, some are in bend-down select, some are meant for you cos they fit you perfectly and some are difficult to get cos you have to bargain for you to come to terms. I was the girl that had many friends but no girlfriend wanted to become committed simply because I could go out of the gf r/ship and get new buddies asap even though I am not a huge socialite. Although, I never had such intentions. At the same time, I am not into the BFF thing like marrying a fellow girlfriend on facebook. If you're my friend, you will know. I can discuss the cute guy's torso with you but I may not kiss you in photos, when we go out and have a good time. I don't know if this ironic, but most convos with my close buddies start with insults.
For example,
Friend: Idiot!
Yinkuslolo: Cow! what have you been milking?
It's all love. Sadly, most of these close friends are in Nigeria.Sometimes, I feel like importing my friends from Nigeria. We don't really do the "I miss you" thing cos we are cocky like that.

Expectedly, when I came to Yankee, I had to start making friends from scratch. I kinda liked the process initially but I think I lost, even though I had so many acquaintances. Surprisingly, It came to a point, when I had to look for buddies for a Friday night. Clearer picture: There are only two Nigerians per se in my school. The kind of friends, I like, were lacking in my school. Maybe, I have not just found them. Maybe Yinkuslolo has a problem but it is definitely not social ineptitude. I have friends, who call me to come have a good time. But it is that 'good time' that I am not chill with.
  • I kind of have standards for a friend, if I am to decide. My kind of friends should simply be out-going, know what to say about the 'boys' and share a mutual sense of humor. Most importantly, you have to be of intellectual benefit. I don't really care about your being uber-smart or "Chanel Iman"-beautiful. Most times, other virtues matter the most.
  • Yinkuslolo likes to go out sober and not-high. Better still, I am too concerned about the unconsciousness of my actions, if I get drunk. Some of my college friends like to get high or wasted before going out. Neither do I have the patience to wait nor appreciate the somewhat-awkward moment as I watched them smoke a joint last Friday. Now I ask myself, should we really be friends? What positivity has the friendship brought about?
  • With regards to the above, I don't like pre-gaming with beer. But you can tease me with red wine and I am good to roll. Unfortunately, college kids do six-packs and I don't wanna feel too cool by bringing my own wine errytime, So, I just chill with the cranberry juice mixer.
  • I will not deceive myself. I prefer black friends. We just have more things to talk about. Whether it be the preferred party style or taste in guys. Most of my friends are black anyway though I have friends of random ethnicities. Jokes: A buddy told me that I now think like blonds cos I have too many non-black friends, according to my tagged facebook pictures.
One of my close friends last year, left the school and the friendship gradually ran its course before that. I realised that I really value friendships but not everyone gets my way of showing it. After that, I became friends with the 'cool' kids, who wanted to be friends with me.

This sophomore year, I have decided to be myself, to be comfortable in my social skin. Make new friends. Keep the old ones I like. Disdain the ones that prove too tough to keep.

Sometimes, you want some people to be your friends but they already have theirs. You don't need to compete with the other group of friends. Because your true friends will find you.

PS: Everybody is dropping bombs now oh.
  1. Naeto-C has dropped the Ako mi ti Poju video. First thing that struck was the white chick. I don't have the energy to care.
  2. Banky W also dropped the Strong Ting video. Twas a bomber. First thing that struck was the fact that the vid was shot in SA. Could it not have been shot in Naija? You may be thinking, 'the end justifies the means', I do too
  3. And guess what? Lady effing Gaga dropped the Paparazzi video. Damn, my lovable bitch brought it on as expected. Mind you. That's some X-rates video.

PPS: Today was the first day of classes, and you already know who dozed off during the latter half of her first class this semester. That's like shet effing mehn! I am so embarrassed about my unexpected lackadaisical attitude. I rarely doze off in class and I never miss class except there is some serious kini. I had better get it together this semester.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Talking swagger, talking fashion...

So, I was going thru the archive of, one of my fave blogs, and I came across this. Unfortunately, according to my own judgement, this was not discussed

"I'm curious to hear what you and others think about those without the attitude or those without "swagger" since there is a distinction being made between the two. A lot of people these days are using the concept of swagger as an ideal to be achieved--something that makes you cool. In other words, if you don't have swagger then you're not cool. A lot of times, this is based on how a person looks or what a person wears. I guess what I'm trying to get people to think about is: what is REALLY cool? Is it really about wearing the "right" accessories and wearing clean shoes?"

I have found myself thinking along the same lines too.

One thing I know is that not everyone can be innovative fashion-wise. At least, I know I am not, at the mo. Almost everything I wear is an idea from someone. If I see someone with my body type or poise, I look for something admirable on them and try that style. Seeing that I can easily identify with the Beyonce-type body shape. I have been told so cos Bey is curvaceous. Lol, one of my girlfriends was like my bootay can work anything. haha. OK, check my twitter background on Na dem sabi

Although, I can be labeled fashion conscious. I like to know what's hip in so-so season. but I follow so many fashion blogs and call admire an Alexander Wang's or Balmain's. You will not see me in those though. Denims are my staple.

I went shopping last wkend, and I actually spent about 80% of my time in the Males' section, shopping for shirts. No, that's not a lesbo move. I am just feeling the shirt with leggings/tights movement lately.

What does swagger mean to you?
wearing what's cool? knowing how to dress?
adding 'swag' to ur screen name on any portal doesn't, for sure.

Orientation ends Monday,
orisirisi planning ends Monday. Yay!
Classes start Tuesday,
work starts Tuesday. Nay!
I want the transition to last forever.
I am not ready for a semester,
promised to be stricken with all-nighter-s.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Kreative Blogger Tag

I was tagged by YNC, so I have to share seven facts about myself, in no particular order.
  1. I love food seafood, especially snails that I prepare from scratch myself.
  2. I sometimes come off as dumb purposely because my brain (not even my DDs) takes the better part of the attention.
  3. I remember people's first and last names, of almost every ethnicity, even if I see them in print just once. I am not a stalker but I still remember the names of my primary six classmates.
  4. I don't know how to appreciate things conventionally cos I am shy like that but I know how to pamper my beloveds.
  5. I am a spontaneous romantic. You will not discover this side of me except you crack unleash it.
  6. I don't like writing papers. I skim thru my posts rather than proof-read, which I do 2 days later. Walahi! I detest writing, other than blogging and chatting. I would rather write a 5-hr calculus exam than write a 2-page paper.
  7. I have a wavering self-esteem and I loathe this virtue.

Now, I have something to refer to when I am asked to describe myself. Whoo! Describing one's self is no joke.

I tag my fellow bloggers. Una plenty.

PS: Blueprint 3 is on the way. A new obsession is on the way.
Shawty get it down.
Dad-Daddy go home
Venus vs Mars.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Feminism, sometimes an escape route

Obviously, I have the X-X chromosome.

I am a feminist by expectation but a mere passive supporter of feminism by decision. Just to add a lil sum'in, I support masculism too. Well, to be clearer, I dont give a damn about Hilary Clinton being the first US president or Lady Gaga's right to discuss a pun-intended disco stick.

When everyone is tryna prove why men shud take up culinary duties, not only in Top Chef, I think of the way women use feminism as a form of armor. In order to make a simple presentation about breast implants, you have think about not triggering some feminism-induced nerve. Eff political correctness!Whenever person A tells me something along the lines of 'Girls! and petty things.' Yeah right, I am meant to put on my feminism armor and tell person A that that statement is sexist. Oh well, some ladies use that feminism response to make person A guilty. Well, I am sometimes person A. As a girl, I sometimes tell girls that we worry about petty things. Two generic online examples, facebook and blogger. Check your homepage, most facebook updates are often by females. And blogger! most posts, I am in position to declare them unwarranted for or ingenious, are authored by females. That's it, on the average, we females talk more. Thus, we tend to talk gibberish more. So, use the feminism armor for the right sexist defense. I don't appreciate using feminism as a coat of armor, when someone criticizes a girl about her benching 100lbs.

To be honest, I think feminism is the outcome of some women liberation. Feminism is important, especially in regions, where gender inequality has not been fully regarded.

PS: Just to reiterate, I am a passive feminist but I actively enjoy feminism's benefits. If I am given preference frats'-entry wise employment-wise, because I identify as a female, thank you. Yo, that's called affirmative action, right. hahaha.